In our world and era, fatherhood has been grossly dented and his role downgraded. This is partly because the age and culture emphases romance, sex and instance or quick fix. Also the society we live in attempt to maintain equality between men and women; some women even usurp headship especially when they make more income than their men. They claim to put their mouths where their monies are. Instead of living as a helper, companion and completing their husbands, they live selfishly in conflicts, contentions, and “lonely together”. In some cases, mothers have chosen to live lifestyles that preclude father or demean their headship into ridicule, for malicious reason. God is our heavenly Father and the Creator of the universe including mankind. He gave man (not woman) the incredible responsibility of being a father in which to learn from Him the art of fatherhood.
The continent of North America alongside other nations of the world had chosen the third Sunday in the month of June to celebrate Father’s Day, it is appropriate to remind fathers of this God given unique responsibility. Men can become biological fathers but have not acquired the psychology and attitude to transit to fatherhood. As we celebrate another Father’s Day, studies revealed that, “Forty percent of American children currently don’t live with their biological fathers. Seventy percent of juveniles in State Reform Institutions grew up with one or neither parent. Forty-three percent of adult inmates grew up in single-parent homes, mostly without dads. Thirty percent of children living with never-married mothers, twenty-two percent with divorce mothers repeat a grade, compared with 12% of those living with both biological parents.” –David Blankenhorn, The Lost Art of Father. This is very sadly revealing.
Being a father requires additional commitment and responsibility than that of a husband. However being a responsible father first necessitates being a good husband (1 Cor.7:1-5). Men gradually grow into fatherhood and this change affect men’s choices, behavior and priorities in everyday life. A good husband treat the mother of his children with affection, respect and consideration (1 Peter 3:7; Col 3:19). This entails loving, honoring, nourishing and cherishing his wife (Eph 5:25-30).
Father’s Role: Apostle Paul admonished fathers, “Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). This admonition could be divided into three:
1) Do not provoke your children to wrath: It could mean to raise your children to become young people of faith. You should not deliberately do things that make your children angry, resentful, discouraged and bitter (Col 3:21). This should not include doing something that is right for them even when they do not realize or do even receive their approval. Such things include: discipline, setting boundaries for their good: Example: they must complete their home assignment before watching TV programs or visiting a friend. In many homes, father’s walk away from their homes to avoid domestic violent. The wife may have chosen a lifestyle of conflict and dissension as well as disrespecting the authority of the man in the home. She further manipulates the children against their father. She paints the man bad and ugly; causing the children to be disrespectful and insulting to their fathers. Sometimes the brawl between the man and his wife, cause the life in the home to witness incessant quarrels and considerably disruptive. In some cases, the anger against the mom’s behavior could unconsciously affect the children, especially when they seem to click with their mom against their dads. It also include a father who is not there; being preoccupied with other issues or self than spend time with and attends to their needs – of money, play with them, teach them and pray with them. Other fathers could be just over bearing, hypocritical and abusive to his children both physically and emotionally.
2) Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord: (Prov. 22:6). A father is the spiritual head of the home, through his gentle, unqualified and tough love, leadership and personal examples, his worship of his God and discipline style. It’s his responsibility to train (not only teach) a child in the way he/she should go, not school, not daycare, not government but the dad. A father should teach his children to live the Lord’s command from the young age (1 Tim 3:15; Due 6:5-9). Training and admonition means more than discipline or punishment for bad behavior. The dad is the child’s first teacher and should exemplify good life and deeds. Dads are “the letter” from God that our kids watch, read and act.
3) Love unconditionally/Never give up on your children Luke 5:20-24). Provide and protect his family. Protection doesn’t just involve physical safety but also emotional security and financial security and others. Father’s must not protect their children only from danger or harm, but also protect them emotionally, morally and spiritually. Father’s must make and spend time with their children; can discipline and hold them accountable but must never, again I say never give up on them. Dads must have a means of livelihood that help to support the family and together with the wife, supply their needs (not necessarily wants) teach the children how to live within their means and practical ways of being financially responsible and independent.
Reach: Evangelist Ogbonnaya, Godswill at weefreeministries@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 720035, Houston, Texas, 77272. Web: www.weefreeministries.org; Phone: 832-881-3929 (c).