MODERN FATHERHOOD AMID THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

As the world celebrates another Father’s Day, we are living in a new world besieged by COVID-19 pandemic which is wreaking havoc and rising death toll. As the number of confirmed COVID-19 cases continues to rise and schools, Churches, workplaces and public gathering spaces across the United States remain closed, a new Pew Research Center survey finds that the coronavirus outbreak is having profound impacts on the personal lives of Americans in a variety of ways. Nearly nine-in-ten U.S. adults say their lives have been impacted a great deal as a result of the COVID19 outbreak. About nine-in-ten U.S. adults (91%) say that, given the current situation, they would feel uncomfortable attending crowded events. Roughly three-quarters (77%) are reluctant to eat out at a restaurant. More-so, in the midst of a presidential election year, about two-thirds (66%) would feel uncomfortable going to a polling place to vote. And smaller but still substantial shares express discomfort even with going to the grocery store (42%) or visiting with a close friend or family member in their home (38%). The situation brings anxiety and full of anguish. The coronavirus pandemic has disrupted lives all around the world. As people across the U.S. practice social distancing to help slow the spread of COVID-19, many businesses have temporarily shuttered and the justice system has ground to a halt in many parts of the country. “Becoming a father isn’t difficult, But it’s very difficult to be a father” – Wilhelm Busch.

Americans are trying to adapt their behavior in light of the outbreak and the measures taken to help combat COVID-19 impacted your life and the lives of your friends and family.  According to recent Pew Center survey, Four-in-ten average working-age adults with college degrees and upper-income earners are working from home because of coronavirus concerns. Still, despite current circumstances, about two-thirds of adults with children under 12 at home say it’s been at least somewhat easy for them to handle child care responsibilities. More Children are still being home schooled and doing their activities through the help of computers. The virus also has impacted Americans’ religious behaviors. More than half of all U.S. adults (55%) say they have prayed for an end to the spread of coronavirus. Large majorities of Americans who pray daily (86%) and of U.S. Christians (73%) have taken to prayer during the outbreak – but so have some who say they seldom or never pray and people who say they do not belong to any religion (15% and 24%, respectively).

Among U.S. adults who normally attend religious services at least once or twice a month, now have scaled back their attendance because of the coronavirus – in many cases, presumably because churches and other houses of worship have canceled services. But this does not mean they have disengaged from collective worship entirely. About (57%) seem to be watching religious services online or on TV instead of attending in person. Together, four-in-ten regular worshippers appear to have replaced in-person attendance with virtual worship (saying that they have been attending less often but watching online instead). How has the pandemic imparted you? Are you unable to see your incarcerated loved one because visitations have been suspended? Are you working on the frontlines of the effort to fight the pandemic? Has the virus posed additional challenges to your everyday life?

As the world takes the time to appreciate the work of good fathers, we reinforce our remembrance of God, the Father Almighty, the gracious and loving father, great maker of the universe, as a role model for earthly fathers. We remind fathers to deal with their children in tough love; bringing them up in the training and instruction of the Lord by encouraging, comforting and urging them to live lives worthy of God (1 Thess. 2:11-12). Also work and leave a positive impression on them; not to exasperate (irritate, provoke, embitter and infuriate) them. Also, it’s time to remind children to honor and obey their fathers, so it may be well with them and as to bring joy to their parents by living wisely.   The Good News is, I believe there are a great number of great fathers all around us, just like we have some bad ones. In this time of pandemic many of them put their lives out for the best interest of their families. Even those who are divorced put their differences aside and reach out to each other for the sake of their children.  The greatest gift I ever had came from God; I call him Dad! ~ Author Unknown

Society at times tends to devalue the importance of fatherhood and the need of a father in the home. Dads are already struggling with a heavy stigma, one that says they lose a bit of their manhood when they so much as nurture their kids. They are very controlling, overbearing and nasty; more so we seem to be better off without them.  The simple truth remains being a good father is much more than simply providing for the family. As young ladies grow into adulthood and begin to date, they should understand that not all men are husband material, just like not all women are wife materials.  Also the man, whom they should be considering for marriage perhaps, needs not just to be great husband material but also have qualities of a great father. The bad news is that surprisingly, a good husband may not necessarily be a good father and vice-versa. “Marriage and fatherhood are quite demanding jobs that require a man to adjust, grow and compromise constantly. But having a spouse who has these specific qualities of being a good husband and a father makes life so much easy and rewarding – not just for you, but your children and even extended family.” On the whole, it should be said, being a dad, especially first time father can be overwhelming and very challenging.

The definition and even the expectations of fatherhood have changed considerably over the past 10 years. Again, there are fundamental changes in the roles of the sexes over the past 60 years. These have affected the expectations and standards dads are measured and held.  There are so much social and environmental issues that provoke thoughts and concern on the wellbeing of our families, especially our children. Unfortunately, a lot of those changes and expectations have not been for the better. The primary force pushing and defining fatherhood is the media. The troubling thought of walking into the school with gun and the images of great number of infant children gunned down in every of those incidents. You begin to think about what you could control to keep your children safe from gun and ensure your own doesn’t grow up a person in fatigues or being depressed by all the negative images they see in the media.

As it where, one begin to be concern and provoked about the effect of gun, negative media reporting and about the gap created by income inequality. Majority dads are beginning to be adjusting to a blend role of part bread winner and part home maker, IT support, repairers-of-all and doer of disgusting jobs.    They are even more on the frontline of discipline and that causes some children to seem to develop hatred for dads.   Little wonder, Ryan Johnson on What it’s really like to be a dad, said, “Welcome to modern fatherhood, where changing dirty diapers is the least of your concerns. You are up for a battle against media — a Daddy David against a media Goliath that is not only funnier but a whole lot cooler….. You can make sure that you control your child’s exposure to violent movies or video games that glorify or desensitize violence. Because even if you aren’t absolutely sure that violent media leads to violent acts, you’ve likely had that same needling feeling that I’ve had after my sons see something too violent for their ages. “The best gift a father can give to his son is the gift of himself – his time. For material things mean little, if there is not someone to share them with.”  – Author Unknown

Part of our reluctance to be a filter for our children is the fact that many of us are happy consumers of violent media. Another source of reluctance is the new role of parent-as-friend rather than authority figure. We are willing to do everything necessary to be a good parent, so long as it doesn’t make us uncool in our children’s eyes. Managing our children’s media consumption definitely falls in the category of uncool, so we cede a critical part of our parenting duties to commercial forces. But when you look at a list of dead children your own child’s age, being a cool dad is the least of your concerns. You’ve had your time as cool, and you’ll trade coolness for a world at least as good— as or better than — the one you were a child in; one where children can go to school without the fear of being harmed. This means actively monitoring, restricting or discussing the media your children consume.

According to Julian Marcus of ASKMEN, “A good father makes all the difference in a child’s life. He’s a pillar of strength, support and discipline. His work is endless and, oftentimes, thankless. But in the end, it shows in the sound, well-adjusted children he raises. A good father loves his children, but he doesn’t let them get away with murder. He strongly disapproves of his children’s misdeeds, using tough love to prove a point. He does this through the power of his words, not his fists. Likewise, a father doesn’t reward his children for actions that are expected of them, such as helping with house chores or performing well in school. If his child drops out of school, the father demands that he provide for himself, considering the child no longer wants to invest in his own future. A good father realizes that his children are human, and that making mistakes is part of growing up. Spending money recklessly, getting into minor car accidents, getting drunk and sick for the first time, even dating questionable people are rites of passage, and a good father recognizes this. However, he makes it clear that repeated irresponsibility won’t be tolerated.” “That is the thankless position of the father in the family — the provider for all, and the enemy of all”~ August J. Strindberg.