HOW FATHERS INVOLVEMENT AT HOME, DO IMPACT THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN

We live in a culture that seems to place little value on fathers and the role they play at home and society.  This is evidence in everywhere you turn to, from pop culture and media to government policy. Some people pretend that a family’s structure doesn’t matter so long as a child has a parent who supports and loves him or her. But this isn’t true in reality. The truth remains that despite all these misgivings, men and fathers are just not another less-important adult in the household. They play a great, significant part in the family and especially in the life of their children. Children do best when they live with their mother and father.  It is then no surprised that Dr. David Popenoe, Professor of Sociology at Rutgers University and Co-Director of the National Marriage Project, professes, “Fathers are far more than just “second adults” in the home. Involved fathers – especially biological fathers – bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring. They provide protection and economic support and male role models. They have a parenting style that is significantly different from that of a mother and that difference is important in healthy child development.- David Popenoe, Life Without Father, (New York: The Free Press, 1996), p. 163. One of the most vital aspects of a dad’s contribution to the lives of his kids lies precisely in what Dr. Popenoe describes as “significantly different parenting style.” Men and women are different. As a result mothers and fathers parent their children differently.

On The Impact of Fathers on Children’s Well-Being by Sarah M. Ellis, Yasmin S. Khan, Victor W. Harris, Ricki McWilliams, and Diana Converse, “American families have changed dramatically over the last century. Currently, about one half of all children in the United States will live apart from their fathers some time during their childhood because their parents have separated (Smith n.d.). Of all children born in the year 2000 to married parents, 50 percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18^th birthday (Fagan 2000). In addition, the proportion of births to unmarried women has increased greatly in recent decades, rising from 5 percent in 1960 to 41 percent in 2011 (Child Trend Data Bank 2013).While these statistics are shocking, a father who is absent from the child’s household may not necessarily be absent from his child’s life. Father involvement depends on a number of circumstances, such as marital status at the time of separation, legal status, and socioeconomic status (Cowan, Cowan, and Knox 2010). Research shows that children benefit from fathers who foster close attachments with them and maintain an active presence in their lives (Allen and Daly 2007).

Ditta M. Oliker, PhD onThe Importance of Fatherswrites, “The fathers have eaten a sour grape and the children’s teeth are set on edge.” (Jeremiah, Book 31, Verse 29).She refers to the quote from the Bible to represent the power of the father as the primary authority of the family for many centuries. His word was unquestioned, his decision final, his influence dominant in all matters relating to family. What he was not seen as was a caretaker of the children — that responsibility rested with (or was vested in) the mother, or mother substitute. The world began to radically change with the social, economic and technical advances of the 20th century, and with those changes came a basic change in the structure and function of the family — with a consequent shift in the authority of the father. His influence was increasingly seen as minor, even negligible, and his importance was defined by how well he provided for the family. Another factor in the diminished role of the father was the then-new field of psychology. In fact, psychology became part of the problem. Research studies did not place much importance on the role of the father, and his influence on the development and growth of his child was reported as “insignificant.” The term “parent” was often meant as mother — and father, if mentioned, was equivalent to other influences. The pendulum of the father’s influence swung so far that the verse would have read: The fathers have eaten a sour grape that had an influence on the mothers, who chose not to offer them to the children. The pendulum slowly began to swing back in the 1970s, with newly designed studies beginning to support the impact of   fathers.

These days, researches on “Fathers and Their Impact on Children’s Well-Being show “Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.” professional journals, as well as the Internet, are filled with articles reporting results confirming the importance of the father. The way that fathers play with their children also has an important impact on a child’s emotional and social development. Fathers spend a higher percentage of their one-to-one interactions with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Children with involved, caring fathers also have better educational outcomes. The influence of a father’s involvement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.

2011 Focus on the Family on The Significance of a Father’s Influence writes, “Dads, for instance, love their children “more dangerously.” That’s because they play “rougher” and are more likely to encourage risk-taking. They provide kids with a broader diversity of social experiences. They also introduce them to a wider variety of methods of dealing with life. They tend to stress rules, justice, fairness, and duty in discipline. In this way, they teach children the objectivity and consequences of right and wrong. They give kids insight into the world of men. They prepare them for the challenges of life and demonstrate by example the meaning of respect between the sexes. In connection with this last point, research indicates that a married father is substantially less likely to abuse his wife or children than men in any other category. Fathers encourage competition, engendering independence. Mothers promote equity, creating a sense of security. Dads emphasize conceptual communication, which helps kids expand their vocabulary and intellectual capacities. Moms major in sympathy, care, and help, thus demonstrating the importance of relationships. Dads tend to see their child in relation to the rest of the world. Moms tend to see the rest of the world in relation to their child. Neither style of parenting is adequate in and of itself. Taken together, they balance each other out and equip the up-and-coming generation with a healthy, well-rounded approach to life.

Ellis, Khan, Harris, & co write, “Although the role of fathers has changed historically over the years, fathers can play a crucial role in the healthy development and well-being of their children, beginning as early as birth. For example, fathers tend to play with their children differently than mothers do. Mothers often emphasize nurturing while fathers spend more time engaging in stimulating playful activity and promoting independence (Rosenberg and Wilcox 2006)…. When fathers are involved in children’s lives at a young age, toddlers develop greater abilities to start school with higher levels of academic readiness (Allen and Daly 2007). Throughout development, high levels of father involvement have also been associated with greater child tendencies to be more patient and increased aptitudes for handling the ongoing stressors associated with schooling when compared to children with fathers who are less involved (Rosenberg and Wilcox 2006). In addition to the increased overall health and cognitive development experienced by children when fathers are present and involved, a father also can impact a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. For example, infants who receive high affection from their fathers have a tendency to be more securely attached, enabling them to more freely explore their environment when a parent is close by, as well as to more readily accept comfort from their parent after being briefly separated. As these children become older, they also are more likely to have better social connections with their peers. Fathers can also help promote a child’s independence, sense of self, and a positive lens through which they can view the outside world (Rosenberg and Wilcox 2006).

Fathers impact children of each gender in unique ways. How fathers treat the opposite sex, regulate their emotions, and model a work ethic all play a role in shaping their children’s attitude toward romantic relationships, peer relationships, school, and work (Rosenberg and Wilcox 2006). For young boys, fathers can provide the answers to questions of approval and validation that a young boy may seek. For young girls, fathers can help them meet their need to be seen as desired and valuable (Hunt 2010). When young men and young women do not feel safe and secure in these deep-rooted psychological areas of development, both can become more predisposed to seek these affirmations elsewhere. With regard to sexual behavior, researchers have found that adolescents from single-parent families are more likely to engage in earlier and more frequent sexual activity (Metzler, Noell, Bigan, Ary, and Smolkowski 1994). The absence of a father in a teenage girl’s life, in particular, is the number one predictor of sexual risk-taking. In fact, studies indicate that 71 percent of early pregnancies occur among women raised in fatherless households (Hunt 2010).

ALL Pro Dad on 10 Things Scripture Says about Being a Father made these contributions, “You may view Scripture as some ancient, out-of-date text that has nothing to say about modern day life. Think again. There is a lot to glean and it may actually change the way you parent. Check out these 10 things Scripture says about being a father.

1. Be your child’s “First Teacher” (Proverbs 22:6). It’s our responsibility to “train up a child in the way he/she should go.” Not the school, not the government, but you—and that means dad.
2. Dads need to exemplify a good life (2 Cor. 3:2-3).Scripture teaches that who we are and how we live is like a “letter from God.” Our kids read that letter, every day.
3. Provide for your family (I Tim. 5:8). For those of you struggling to find work, don’t get down on yourself. This idea is more about your heart and desire. Being a father who provides covers more than rent and food. As dads, it’s our responsibility to make sure our family’s needs are addressed across the board. Be encouraged and look for ways to give to your family even when it is hard to financially.
4. Good dads discipline their children (Proverbs 13: 24).The one who loves their children, Scripture says, “is careful to discipline them.” This is also about proactive leadership in our homes.
5. Dads spend time with their children, and it’s not empty time (Deut. 6: 6-9).The Scriptures are clear that dads must engage their children in the kind of deep, heart-to-heart conversations that impart more than facts, but teach wisdom. Schedule some regular “conversational walks” with your children, one on one. Family time that counts.
6. Compassion is a “dad” characteristic. A father has compassion for his children. Psalm 103:13 points out, “so the LORD has compassion.”
7. “Put your money where your mouth is”. Well, not in those exact words. But James 1:22 instructs us to not only be “hearers” of God’s word but “doers” also.
8. Don’t provoke your children (Ephesians 6:4). The alternative, the Scripture suggests, is to raise them to be young people of faith. “Children who know that their dads pray for them every day own a deep sense of love and security.”
9. Dads never give up on their kids. The story of “The Prodigal Son” (Luke 15:20-24) is the story of a father who never gives up hope and is ready to receive his child back with open arms. We can discipline, we can hold accountable, but we must never give up.
10. Dads pray for their children (1 Chronicles 29:19).King David prayed for his son, Solomon. Children who know without any doubt that their dads pray for them every day own a deep sense of love and security.