VALENTINE – LOVER’S DAY
Every year February, 14, is the traditional day lovers express their love for each other. They send cards, chocolates [candies] and rose flowers. This tradition has grown over time to include engagements, weddings, anniversaries and others expensive gifts like jewelries, cars etc. A source reveals that the Greeting Card Association estimates approximately one billion valentine’s cards sent each year worldwide. It has become the second largest cards sending period next to Christmas. This day is dedicated after two men both Christian martyrs named valentine – the Valentine of Rome [a priest in Rome who suffered martyrdom about AD269 and the valentine of Termi [a Bishop of Intevamna killed about AD197 during the persecution of Emperor Aurelian]. However history records the third St valentine from Africa who was martyred on February 14 but was not given a saint day. The reason is obvious; we shall talk about that on Hate Day.
The word valentine is derived from a Latin word valor meaning worthy. Webster’s new World dictionary describes it as sweetheart chosen or greeted on St Valentine day. Valentine has been associated with romantic love since the days of Geoffrey Chaucer. This perhaps was inspired from the songs of Solomon in the bible that contain more romantic expressions than any other known book. However the tradition of valentine celebration was probably imported into North America in the 19th century by British settlers. Our age and generation have witnessed increase in erotic [romantic] love and decline in agape [unconditional] love.
As we celebrate the valentine day for 2007, the meaning of love diminishes in the face of hate, grudge, greed, covetousness, terror, rapes and homicides, etc. Many who send cards, flowers and even expensive jewelries have no idea that love means passionate affection, intimacy and accepting the other person the way he/she is. Globally our world is besieged in wars, resulting from self won’t and unforgiveness; ego, gain and power. In this struggles to survive, big fishes feed on small fishes and cause disharmony, untold hardship and bloodshed. Many among them are refugees in their own states.
As we celebrate love yet hatred in our minds, many families are in shamble and unsettled. As we send cards filled with romantic words, how I wish we could live a loving, respectful life; less there are futile, empty and deceitful. The rose flowers we send out symbolizes intimacy, lovers and best friends but our gestures, expressions and actions appear the opposite. Our commitment to each others should reinforce fidelity in relationship but the societal illness ‘do it if you feel good’ syndrome pervade us. ‘Our society is now paying the price of irresponsible sexuality in the form of increased unwanted pregnancies, abortions, divorces, rapes and life debilitating and life threatening sexual transmitted diseases.’ It’s also reflected in the high rate of abuses, domestic violence and homicides with their associated broken hearts, broken Spirit and broken homes.
Yet Valentine reminds us a-new of the greatest reality of God’s life that God is Love [1 John 4:8b]. Real love is unconditional and should evident in all love relationship. Apostle Paul outlines the distinguish qualities of unconditional love: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy or jealous; love does not parade itself and not puffed up; does not behave rudely, or seek its own, is not provoked, think no evil; does not rejoice in iniquities but in truth; bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” [1Cor.13:4-7]. It does not depend on what your spouse does or not, age, weight, mistakes and bad language as well as bad decisions, etc. Even though unconditional love is a daily decision and most ideal, it carries with it daily pains. It may be impossible to attain it completely but the closer one come to it, the nearer to God and wellness. Daily bonds are amended and guilt’s resolved. No marriage can have true intimacy until both couples give their hearts to God. This is different from being a member of a Church. That a person [or couples] attends Church meetings and worship does not guarantee that the person has good relationship or intimacy with Christ. You may be born again, yet have problems in your marriage because you’re still puffing up, complaining, murmuring and thinking very highly of yourself. Yet humility and mutual submission is the required menu. Most couples live in pretence but that can only work beautifully at first and would not last long. It can become revolving and requires continuous suppression. As time goes on you may discover more negative stuffs that could be disturbing. When we can no longer suppress those negative behaviors, we face the thoughts of disagreeing with our spouse. Disagreement leads to quarrels if not handled maturely.
. We can stand against this common foe that plagues and threatens our love life and family wellbeing by realizing that marriage is a union of two imperfect beings; every person has strengths and weaknesses and learns to accept our spouses for what they are as well as our children. Mother Teresa once said, “We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass – grow in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, ….we need silence to be able to touch souls” Let us learn from nature and heed to King David’s injunction, ‘Be still and know that I am God’ [Psalm 46:10]. Debra Smith advised, ‘Heightened marital romance only occurs when one has already had deep intimacy and romance with God. A divine intimacy develops through regular dwelling in the Lord’s presence. From the supernatural romance, God’s power will flow through you and supercharge your relationship with love from heaven. Your marriage shall be revolutionized and every relationship benefit from God’s unconditional love oozing from you.’ That’s the way out. Hee, we have worked so hard, let us have some fun while the meals are still warm. Happy valentine.
Evangelist Ogbonnaya G. can be reached by email: gkapin53@yahoo.co