UNDERSTANDING THE CHRISTIAN VIRTUE OF PATIENCE

This month we shall consider: Patience as a virtue. Some people align patience to waiting. They seem to believe the quote: “The longer you wait, the luckier you will get”. Others interpret it to mean, “good things come to those who wait”. In most cases, waiting doesn’t get you anything. It just gets you more waiting. However, good things never come to those who wait. “Good things come to those who take action, commit, put it the work, persist and preserved”. Little wonder why some people wait around for months for an opportunity to come to them, instead of them creating the opportunity themselves. Some others apply for jobs and wait for the employers to get back to them, why not go back to employers? Instead of playing the lottery and waiting to get rich, why not learn how to create riches/wealth for yourself? These group of people being patient sitting still and expecting something to happen or fall on their laps. You could as well learn how to pay yourself than waiting for your employer to pay you.

Definition: According to vocabulary.com, “Patience is a person’s ability to wait something out or endure something tedious, without getting riled up. Having patience mean you can remain calm, even when you have been waiting forever so dealing with something painstakingly slow or trying to teach someone how to do something and they just don’t get it. It involves acceptance and tolerance”. Another school of thought (caffrey counseling.com) writes “Patience is best described as a state of forbearance or restraint in the face of delay or provocation, without becoming over-whelmed by annoyance or anger. It is the ability to endure something negative that’s found its way into our environment, without letting it control our behavior.

Be joyful in hope, patience in affection, faithful in prayers

Roman 12:12

 

We live in a world of “haste” –we want it, we want it now! Almost in everything in the spheres of our lives. We have come to the point where our patience has worn so thin that it is almost non – existent. We have no time to wait …… after all time is money! Could you imagine how much agony, how many conflicts and countless heartbreaks we would save by just being a tad patients at times. Most people believes they are patient, until circumstances put them to test

“If patience is a virtue, then hastiness is a vice”. How many times or how often have we rush or avoid or done things in haste only to regret them? If we take a moment, a brief pause, a second to contemplate the consequence of what we were about to do, we shall suffer less or little damage. Aruna Ladva, on patience is a virtue writes, “Patience has been defined as the level of endurance before negativity kicks in. So what is that level in you? Is it a minute, or hour or years? It’s certainly a question that is worth asking of ourselves. So is there a point at which one could say one has enough patience?

But what if we decided not to accommodate the situation instead? To let go of waste thoughts and not to allow the event, or the person to get to us? This is called “spiritual tolerance power.” Ladva adds “Haste begins in the mind before anywhere else. The more quickly we allow our mind to be filled with thoughts than the more we are prone to act fast and create blunders – more haste only creates less speed and ultimately waste time. Yet slow thinking does not suggest sluggishness; or the contrary with slower and more controlled thinking we are able to decide more quickly and with patience.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God

Philippians 4:6

We live in the new world of technologies that in turn speeds up the peace of everything. Preaching on: Patience is virtue no one can have time for anyone, Ben Carlson, says “Everything is instantaneous now – good news, bad news communication channels, socializing, the spread of information, market moves, trading, buying stuff television, movies and the list could go on. Almost every choice you make their days is a snap decision because there is always something else completing for your time. Technology has removed so many frictions people throughout history have had to deal with that is amplifying human nature. We are still the same emotional beings we have always been but now those emotions aren’t given a chance to breathe. Technology is both a blessing and a curse. It makes our lives easier and more efficient in countless ways. But it also invites misinformation, irrational exuberance and the spread of emotional responses at a frightening pace. Technology has the ability to shrink cycles into months or weeks or even decades to play out in the past.

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit for anger resides in the laps of fools.

Ecc 7:9

 Dr. Sarah Schnither, an expert on patience defines it as “the propensity to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity”. She describes three (3) types of situations in which patience can be displayed:

• Daily Hassles – (E.g waiting in a long line, traffic jams).
• Long term goals and life hardship (E.g getting a job, coping with a serious illness)
• And Interpersonal (E.g dealing with a difficult person)

 

She added, we are regularly faced with such situations, and research shows that the more we respond to them with patience, the better off we are. Compared to impatient individuals, those who display patience tend to have better mental health, lower levels of depression, and are more successful at reaching long – term goals. Patience leads to better social interactions, better physical health, and greater satisfaction. Patience is clearly an important and necessary skill for children to develop. “In reality, today’s youth are impatient, they may doubt; but cannot deny it. They expect a quick reply when they send E-mail and get angry when it doesn’t happen.  Many of them want prompt/immediate reply when talking to adult or even parents.

They agree with the statement “I have little patience or tolerance for waiting”. The reasons are not for fetched; as we consider the effect of technological advance society, many of them are born into and have known all lives. It is a society where speed and immediacy are valued and rewarded; where information, entertainment and communication are just click away. …… As a society, we seemed to placed emphasis on patience and more on speed and instant gratification. Researchers reveal that:

• Males are more impatient than females
• Being patience and calm allowed the adolescence to more effectively, engage in working towards their goals
• Patience isn’t about disengaging; rather it is about active and calm engagement while waiting to achieve the end goal. This leads to success.
• Patience is virtue that has been easily over-looked in today’s busy, hurried, noisy world. Media should highlight its value and that would help today’s youth cultivate it in their daily living.

Susan Marshall on Patience in a virtue writes, “I was skeptical of this adage for many years. There didn’t seem to be any evidence to prove it. Just the opposite; in fact, thinking fast, walking  fast and moving fast seem the best (and quickest) way to earn the good stuff: visibility, opportunity and reward. It was true in school, in sports and certainly in early jobs. It wasn’t until I became a manager and ultimately a division leader that I began to appreciate the virtue of patience. In time I also recognize that patience is critical leadership skill and can be a powerful competitive advantage. My first inkling came when I supervised an individual who talked continuously and said very little. I watched and listened as others people make fun of this person and discarded everything that was said. In trying to figure out how to help the individual, I began to listen more closely. What I heard was a plea for recognition and strong knowledge that needed context. My awareness deepened while conducting workshops and running meetings during which people processed information at different speech, some require more time to reach understanding.”

She adds, “My learning was most profound while leading a turnaround effort in which some colleagues refused to accept or adopt change, not because they were inherently stubborn or resistant but because they had significantly different view point and experience. Having patience to hear them mattered. Stalements forced us to map out the business. In so doing, everyone learned and we came up with solutions that yielded new growth.

“One of the greatest gifts of patience is in helping people find their footing and their voice as they build your business and serve your customers. Your job as a leader is to challenge, and support, encourage and correct and develop. Share what you know, allowing others to learn at their pace. Where learning requires urgency and speed of understanding and application, choose your theme carefully. They can be no shrinking from this”. Patience becomes powerful when it delivers competitive advantage through a more confident work force. Patience in today’s business world feels like a luxury but if you can discipline yourself to;

1. Slow down on occasion
2. Focus with the reciprocal intent to impart knowledge and learn something new, and
3. Extract and give back to everyone involved, you will have practiced a critical leadership skill, you will have energized people to make what exists better and expand what is possible through collaboration

David Shiss, PhD, on Havard Business Review writes, “Patience is a key attribute for successful leadership, especially in the midst of  a crises, but many leaders find it a challenge to develop this trait.” He adds, “Being patient in the face of adversity is important for fostering activity and productivity. Dr. Sluss after surveys suggested two ways leaders can develop patience.

1. Redefine what speed means to you and understand that moving quickly is not always correlated with delivering value.
2. Patience gratitude, as feeling more grateful can help people get better at delaying gratification, this making them more patient.

Everyone face moments where our patience is stretched or tested; wear thin – either with others, with themselves or honesty with God’s plan. The scriptures contain many Bible verses on the importance of patience. It concors that patience is a virtue, fruit of the spirit and a sign of someone who trusts in God. 1 Samuel 13:8-14, summed up that lack of patience can cause you to miss blessings. Being patient is a vital part of trusting in God as our life circumstances are not always what we ‘d prefer.

“Hebrew 11:13-16;  1 Samuel 13:8-14;   Revelation 6:9-11; 2 Thess 1:4-5

You can turn to God for strength to wait on His timing and plan in every area of life. My hope is that this piece will inspire us to remain faithful to our values and be patience when times get tough and rough. It is difficult to accept suffering, let alone refrain from getting upset or angry as we face difficult situations. However, that is why patience is a special trait in God’s eyes. I can learn to practice patience by answering; how can I practice discomfort without getting angry or anxious? Again each time you feel anxious, attempt to take three (3) deep breaths and smile before you react or respond. We have stretched every day with more work, more work problems, more family struggles, and more anxieties. It’s easy to quickly become impatient and allow our emotions get over us. We often turn to our own abilities instead of turning to God’s power to inspire patience in any situation of life. Believe in the word of God and exercise it in faith, you will have patience and peace that passes all understanding.