Our Lost Values.
Would it mean anything to you if your child wakes up in the morning and walk pass you without greetings – I mean saying good morning to you? How would you feel if someone receives a gift from you without sayings thank you? Or your child sees you return from a hard day’s job and does not greet, welcome. Do you consider it abnormal? Can you demand for it? Does it really matter? To some people it’s a big deal but other liberals don’t care. On this shores, we sing the song of freedom, greetings is one of the least things we bother about. However, we are in sympathy with those who care about such norms because it is an integral part their culture and biblical practice to observe pleasantries. It could be a lost value and irrelevant to this age. Unfortunately some people were raised to believe such greetings and compliments express profound gratitude and appreciation. That has not changed. What has changed is the attitude of this age towards gratitude. They may boo such mannerism. What matters to this age is how much you’re willing to pay for someone to greet you? After all we have greeters in Churches, Restaurants and Departmental stores etc who may be paid to offer this service.
However before we frown at these behaviors, could we find out how old the child is? Was this child trained by parents? Retrospectively, it could be how the child was raised in which case the parents are part of the child’s problems. If not, you could correct and re-train the child on the importance of observing pleasantries in life. The scripture says train a child the way he should go and when he grows up he will not depart from it [Proverbs 22:6]. This scripture has never failed. If the child was trained [not taught] properly and he chose to live differently, it could be the parent’s teaching was corrupted by peer group or associations. If any of these happens, then the child should be retained or constrained to learn these values in a hard way. The other aspect is that these days and times most parents have conflict in directing their kids that they get confused who to listen to. Again most babies make babies and it’s impossible to give what you don’t have.
Greetings, indeed what you say to them and how you say it doesn’t matter. We were taught that three phrases are very important in life: thank you, excuse me, and I’m sorry. As we relocate to the west, we learnt ‘I appreciate’ and ‘well done.’ When you say thank you it signifies appreciation, gratitude and of course right sense of value and purpose. “Excuse me” is to call someone’s attention or ask for a right of passage; it could be to interrupt discussion etc. While ‘I’m sorry’ could stand for repentance or remorse. Remorse expresses being sorry for wrongdoing while repentance expresses regret for wrongdoing and attempt not to repeat it. These expressions we consider cherished values as we interact with one another in life. When we learn to use these courteous words willingly and timely, our children hear them over and over again; use them within the household as well as in public. These cherish values help to better the society we live in.
Similarly, we may not feel its abnormal when we rush out our homes in the morning without appreciating the morning or saying a word to our Heavenly Father. Most times we go to bed after tiring day’s job and neglect to say thank you Lord for all his kindness, mercies and protections during the day. Some people take our coming into a new season, new day as a right; I mean for granted. They hardly remember that not all who saw yesterday are alive today. You may not see God physically but be assured He’s watching and listening. We offend other people and find it difficult to say we’re sorry or ask for forgiveness; even when we say it, we don’t mean it. Some lack these words in their vocabularies. Instead they justify their behaviors and give them sweet names. They could even turn around and accuse the offended person of airing in conduct and behavior. Funny enough when other people do similar things to them they become offended and frown at their actions. It is common experience to run into other people or even push them deliberately before we care to say excuse me or harshly stone them with qualified apologies, if we dare care.
By the same token we also make vows and promises that disappear after that requests are met. That quickly reminds me that of concern vows have gradually reduced to common norm. When we say a thing is common it creates the impression that it’s available to everyone even without asking. Yet an ancient saying opines that common sense is not common and not everyone possesses it. It is common practice to hear young people unconsciously say ‘I love you or I will marry you.’ To them it’s a common expressions and lee way to enjoying free love, I mean sex. Parents most times promise their kids something and fail to meet their promises. What are such parents teaching their children? Others would be sleeping at home but instruct their children they are away from the house. Most people invited to our community events, be it fund raising or wake’s and even Church services make pledges that are never met. The world, its people and situation may be changing but the Creator doesn’t change. Little wonder we play with marriage vows made before God in the midst of angelic and human witnesses. God honors vows and covenants even when we feeble with them.
The moment we obtain God’s answer, we appear to put him at the back seat. Often a time we asked God to take charge of our lives but we get on the drivers’ seat and hold tight to the steering. Many pretend comfortable in their little corner only to reach out to God or others when they have needs or are in trouble waters. Does it make sense? Little Surprise some treat God as a substitute, when stocked at a point and no other way works they pursue Him; others treat Him as a spare tire as against steering wheel. More so some relate to God casually and unscheduled prayers become last resort. In disbelief some people ask God for forgiveness but are reluctant to forgive themselves or others. Yet in the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to forgive us as we forgive others who offend us. Why is it then that God forgives us we neither forgive others nor ourselves? If you do not have forgiveness you can’t give it. However some have been known to abuse forgiveness by purposely and deliberately repeating the same old deeds. We shall not dwell in wrong doings so that grace may abound or perhaps loose sight that forgiveness is an on going deliberate choice. It does not mean our memories are erased. Yet these values appear the most elusive discipline in our times. We should try our best to do unto others what we wish them do unto us. That’s the golden rule and the value we cherish.
Reach Evangelist Ogbonnaya Godswill at: weefreeministries@yahoo.comOR Box 720035, Houston TX 77272