5] Understanding Male and Female sexuality:
The truth of the matter is today’s man has found his role radically redefined from that of his father or grandfather. The uniqueness of his God given position includes some cultural attributes and incorporates that father as chief role model, embodied integrity, loyalty and self-sacrifice.
Beside the obvious physical differences, there are basic mental and emotional contrasts – with man’s variation between that may or may not be visible. In Genesis account, Adam was created one way and Eve was created in another. With different strength and weakness, resources and needs, man and woman were built to fit together. Although God is the ultimate answer to the deepest needs of every human being, nonetheless, He created male and female: man was made to lead, provide and protect; woman was made to respond, nurture, nourish and care for the family.
Even though societal view and roles of men and women have changed, but the basic characteristics and built-in sexual differences between man and woman have never changed. Funny enough, both man and women try to prove that they are tough enough to make it along. Little surprise that in our world of unisex and instant age, many marriages surrounded by loneliness and despair head on a collision course with destruction. If God who in His infinite wisdom created us to fit together into each other, how can we afford to hold on to new found attitudes of independence and emotional detachment. What ended years back in minor squabbles and living lonely together has graduated into unending divorce trail and separations, fatherlessness and worst still cold murders as we see it today. A great number of people involved in the no-win marriage wars are Church members, who go to Church everyday and some hold enviable position of trust in the Church and in our community. Sometimes the Church leadership is unaware. Even when they are, some prefer to stay safe. Permit me to say, there is something fundamentally wrong with our people, Churches and community; even when we live in denial and put up show every Sunday.
For example: in the society we live, most women work hard to support their husband. This is highly commendable. However some men quit their jobs because their wives have secured societal lucrative work; they become heads without responsibilities [or manager of their wives’ income]. Since women who were suppose to be home keepers and helper to the man have resourced to work and provide for the family, it will be nice for the husband also to learn to help out with some of the domestic work. That does not mean that the wife should judge him in his domestic abilities. We came into relationship to help and serve each other selflessly. If you really love your spouse and appreciate her abilities to provide for the family, you will be willing to help out in any way. This country is so stressful that couples should learn to help each other. Let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds [Hebrews 10:24] and carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ [Galatians 6:2]. But build each other up everyday [Hebrews 3:13]. Couples should put higher priority in resolving differences than on having good night’s sleep. Together couples can overcome all emerging problems; they stay strong and prosper.
Unknown to some women, they behave disrespectful, bossy and controlling the moment they are making more money or suddenly become the bread winner of the household. Some buy into the idea that in this land of the freed, any couple can head a household. What did the scripture say? Others live a lifestyle that compete with other families thereby allowing other people dictate and run your lives. These behaviors have caused untold stress and strain on the family and could help to tear down the family. Smart couples live by their income and are happy and contended.
The common longing deep down a man and a woman is the desire to find comfort, companionship and fulfillment. God installed this longing in us for a purpose: a man to be truly masculine as he can be; a woman to become distinctively feminine as she can be. Each will have a unique role and definable function. God so designed marriage that a husband will meet his wife’s spiritual, emotional and physical needs and vice versa. God had in mind a marriage that is coupling of two distinct designs, one male, one female. To deny the uniqueness of sexes and attempt to fit in misguided struggles to swap roles or deny their existence together has serious consequences. Some people to justify their unisex and alternative lifestyle admiration opine that the issue of sexuality is obsolete and neither exists anymore or not relevant to this instant age but the truth is that it controls the life we live and our behaviors. Others believe and do what the society say than God’s word.