“You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed you [I have planted or made you], that you might go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit may be lasting [that it may remain, abide], so that whatever you ask the Father in my name [as representing all that I AM] He shall give it to you” [John15:16 -Amp. Bible]
1] Definitions: American Century dictionary defines the two key words in the topic:
[i] Ordain: to confer priestly status, set aside; could mean: chosen, appointment and commissioned. [ii] Prosper: being successful, thrive, accomplishment, fulfillment.The topic could read you’re set aside to succeed or chosen for accomplishment or commissioned for fulfillment or appointed to fulfill your destiny or destined to succeed.
2] The Purpose of this Presentation:
* Help in understanding yourself, your spouse, your marriage and your expectations for each other.
* help couples redefine their marriage relationship from a God-ward orientation
*Advice Churches the need to have a plan of intervention in place before marriages crumble.
3] From creation: [Genesis 1:26-38]
God created man [male and female in His image and likeness. He saw what He created and said it was very good. It met His design and specifications. There was no error or mistake. Say to yourself, “I am not misfit or accident of nature.” It was perfect and filled with God’s glory and also gave Him good pleasure. And God blessed and sanctified the works of His hands. God empowered man to have complete authority over all creation, multiply and be fruitful, subdue and have dominion. It therefore means from creation, God ordained man to be successful and prosper. Say to yourself, “I’m not a failure.”
4] Family and living arrangement:
-The common law tradition where our legal doctrine and concepts developed view marriage as a contract based on a voluntary private agreement by a man and woman to become husband and wife.
-The foundation of a good family is a good marriage. Regardless of her composition, family is generally regarded as a cornerstone of society. It was vital to the preservation of morals and civilization. It takes more than have children to have a good family; in order to have a good family one start with good spouse. Yet, we hurry over choosing a spouse and decide to spend a lifetime with unknown person.
-A couple of years back and still practiced in some part of the Black world of Africa and third world countries, we had an agricultural society, where extended families of multiple generations lived in the household. However as the culture became more urbanized and mobile, nuclear families of two parents and children emerged and became a norm.
-This ushered in shift in economics and employment; moral values and social conditions. People had to leave their original families in search of jobs and better conditions of life. The bad consequences are: cohabitations outside marriage, increase number of single men and women living alone. Single parents’ families with growing number of children raised by one parent or by neither parents; others raised by grandparents or foster parents. The role and make up of families has been undergoing changes.
-Traditionally, the role of each parent in a typical family setting was well defined. A husband had the responsibility to provide safe house, pay for necessities such as food, clothing, and protection as well as live in the house. He was the authority /head of the household. The wife’s obligations were maintaining a home, living in the home, and rearing children the couple’s children.
-Today the underlying concept that marriage is a legal contract still remains but due to changes in society that bothers on economics, new living arrangements, cultural demands and improvement in human wellbeing and desires as well as the legal obligations have also changed. A man and his wife both work hard to provide for the household and meet the obligations of the family.
-The structure as designed by God has not changed but the obligations have changed. The man is the head of family and the woman the neck without which the head cannot turn. She is a companion, completion and helper or helpmate. Being a husband and head has its responsibilities and men do not abdicate that aspect of their duty in the family and the church.
-Many societal women consider the term “helper” as demeaning and derogatory, especially if they bake more bacon than their men. They question: how can they be helpmate and be an equal in function and value? The word helpmate as used by God is an exalted quality. Far from being a term for second class citizen, the word is used by God even in reference to himself [Psalms 70:5]. The Lord Jesus Christ referred to the Holy Spirit of God as the Helper [John 14:16 Amp. Bible]. If the role of a helper is legitimate one for the creator of the universe, then it is hardly a lesser role or demeaning term to refer to a woman in marriage with a man as his helper. God also used the word “suitable” to qualify the position of a woman to man [Genesis 2:20]. Did God mean that the role of a husband and wife are interchangeable, depending on who makes more money or on the abilities of each partner? It’s better to trust God even when we think He is in error and His word too ancient for this generation. We should say what He says and believe His word unconditionally. The totality of what a woman does is simply to help her husband. Again, some women bake more bacon than their husbands and become bossy, controlling and disrespectful. Such actions discourage and put off men from their masculine duties. Others open their minds to the opinions of other women whose houses were already collapsing. Just because a man is the head, should he exert his authority without responsibilities? A man must provide for his family, encourages his wife and earn her respect. Some men become complacent the moment they fetch a minting or ‘ATM’ machine.
-Come to think of it, marriage is an intimate affair that should not be gambled with. Good marriages don’t just happen; it requires hard work and devotion on the part of the couples. I believe the urbanization of our society and the demands of the new culture as well as equal right overflows have ushered in challenges that shall be dealt with for over a long time while the emerging consequences are complicated, begging for urgent attention.