Is marriage for everybody?
Marriage is a perfect union designed and instituted by God before sin ever entered in our world. It was made to take place between a man and a woman [Genesis 2:18, 24]. Jesus re-emphasized this model in Matthew 19:5-6. Apostle Paul also directed that younger women should marry, bear children, guide their homes and give no one reason to be reproachful to them [1 Timothy 5:4]. The book of Hebrews describes marriage as honorable [Hebrews 13:4]. It’s the divine purpose that most people should get married. Little wonder the Lord said, “It is not good that a man should be alone; I will make a helpmate suitable for him” [Genesis 2:18]. Marriage laws are binding to couples as long as they live [Romans 7:1-3]. The vows should not be broken because God hate separation and divorce [Malachi 2:2]. Divorce is the evidence that Satan had subtly hindered God created institution. “There is nothing more special or sacred than to give of yourself completely to another person” Jennifer and Jason Barton – REDBOOK, June 2008.
However marriage is not for everybody. The designer and maker of marriage handed down guidelines and rules that will make it work. Negligence of the rules will frustrate it and make it either work under strain condition or crumble. You cannot drive on our roads without observing road signs. If you do, it will result to chains of disasters. It will be wrong to attempt to use a product without first going through the manufacturer’s manual and observe the safety and operating instructions. Apostle Paul exhorted that it’s good for a man not to touch a woman [1Corinthians 7:1]. But to avoid the sin of immorality, let every man have his wife and let every wife have her husband. If one does not marry and can keep away from sexual sin, it’s better because the person shall devote self to the Lord. Nevertheless, if one marries such shall have much troubles in the flesh; shall be engaged with thought of how to satisfy each other and raise good family while striving to serve the Lord [1 Corinthians 7:28-36].
Factors that could hinder good marriage:
I]. Eunuchs: Literally, Eunuch is a man or boy whose testes are non-functioning or has been removed. Such a person may not be able to make babies and have no sex drive. Others are those who are castrated or made impotent through spiritual wickedness. Jesus said, “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men …….. [Matthew 19:12 a].
One of the characteristics of living thing is to produce after its kind. Again God commanded man to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over all creation [Genesis 1: 31]. Little surprise the Psalmist said, “Lo, Children are a heritage of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is his reward……..happy is a man that has his quiver full of them…….. [Psalms 127:3-5] and read also Psalms 128:3.
2]. Celibacy: The American Heritage college dictionary defines celibacy as sexual abstinence especially for religious vows; it is also a condition of being unmarried. This is a very popular doctrine with the Roman Catholic Church where their priest takes the oaths of celibacy before ordination. Jesus teaches that there are eunuchs who have themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He, who is able to accept it, let him accept it [Matthew 19:12b]. This is a voluntary acceptance to remain unmarried [or be married to Jesus], to be set aside to serve God in His fullness.
3]. Self-centeredness: Literally self willed is willingness to adhere to one’s opinion or in satisfying personal desires. It could mean being stubborn and obstinate and do not care about other people or their desires. They are selfish in nature; the “Me-first” people. These people should not enter into marriage because it would not fit. Marriage is about sharing and serving each other selflessly; consider one’s spouse before yours. These people will become a round peg in a square hole. They cannot demonstrate love in action and only give you what they don’t need. They are greedy, bossy and controlling as well as wicked. This reminds me of the description of the word, JOY meaning Jesus, others and you.
4].Chosen Alternative lifestyles: These include those who do not live their lives or use their bodies for the traditional uses as God designed it. These people hold the truth of God in unrighteousness, profess to be wise in their minds and posses vile affection as well as change their natural uses to unnatural [homosexuals: gays, lesbians, partners of swinging clubs [Romans 1:22-32]. Others call themselves bisexuals and transvestites.
5].Mentally and physically immature: Marriage is not for those who are not matured. It is not for boys and girls or teens that are being spoon-fed by their moms. The Bible said, “Therefore shall a man [not a boy] leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh” [Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:6-9]. The people must be in readiness and have deeper understanding of what they enter; they must understand God’s provision and expectation for marriage. They should be responsible financially, emotionally and mentally as well as physically. No doubt, there are some adults who still behave like overgrown babies. They say one thing and mean another; cannot respect or keep commitment with spouse. They should be able to understand their strengths and weakness and bring them to bear. These people must fear God and preserve in faith; must be God’s children such that they could agree on a thing and God honor it.
6].Incompatibility: Literally to be compatible could mean capable of existing or performing in harmony, in agreement, or congenial combination. It also includes bonding, integration or cleaving together. It is better that couple should be compatible; even when they are not, they should attempt to work it out. Incompatibility could bring a lot of tension and strain on the relationship. Many couples, who may not be patient until it gets to the shores, throw in the towel half way; some among them remarry and fight their way through life, living lonely together. This type of marriage experience leadership conflicts, suffer decision tussles, delay and dirty infighting. It also affects the children raised under this atmosphere. I will advise against it.
I respect the opinion of those who have deliberately stayed out of marriage because they understand who they are and accept their weaknesses and deficiencies; maintain space for those who are not tolerant of their ‘me-first’ attitude. I honor men and women who have set themselves aside so as to devote their lives to worship and serve the God of heaven; they should be faithful in their callings and not mingled with worldliness[1 Corinthians 4:1-2]. ‘If a man purge himself from these he shall become a vessel unto honor, sanctified and meet for the master’s use and prepared unto every good work’[2 Timothy 2:21]. Also let the elder [Bishop] that rules well be counted worthy of double honor especially they who labor in the word and doctrine. The Laborer is worthy of his reward [1 Timothy 5:17-18].
Reach: Evangelist Ogbonnaya, Godswill at: weefreeministries@yahoo.com or Box 720035, Houston, Texas 77272.