GOOD PEOPLE, BAD MARRIAGE

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GOOD PLAYERS, BAD TEAM

As we watch the ongoing 2010 FIFA World Soccer Tournament in South Africa, you must have noticed that to win team game, players must not only have talents but also play as a team. This happens in games like: soccer, basket and volley ball, football and double tennis games as well as in sports like relay race, etc. The key work of most coaches is to develop and instill team spirit in the players. There are many individual stars that are gifted and talented but lack team spirit. They play selfish and individual game which does not work in a team game. A team may have a crop of individual fantastic players and still loose a tournament. Great teams play together; not just a bunch of individual talented players. Togetherness is the secret of success in team game and the secret in all aspects of life. Jim Tressel with Chris Fabry, in The Winners Manual for the game of life opined that “Success is a team sport. As Woody Hayes said many years ago, ‘You win with people.’ When we added ‘for the group’ to Coach Wooden’s definition, we helped to focus our players on the team aspect of success.” They added that their purpose of adding ‘for the group’ was to capture the truth that in being our best, we added to those around us. It forces us to define success in terms of what the group needs, what our team needs or what our society or country needs…..people tend to worry more about how something affects ‘me’ as opposed to how it affects ‘us’. We also need team spirit in the Church, ministry, business setting, in community and family and most importantly in marriage relationship.

In the Church, we have unnumbered talented and gifted, good people but most of them have not been discovered or may not have the opportunity to use their gifts in a team setting. God gives gifts to His saints; some are leaders and others followers. Among the leaders, we have different gifts and callings. This includes the Five-Fold Ministries: Apostles, Prophets, Evangelist, Pastors, and Teachers. Beyond these, depending on the denomination, we have Elders, Deacons, Directors of Music, Youth leaders; Bible studies co-coordinators, Leaders in men and women fellowships, Children ministries, and so on. If these leaders work in their different callings and their talents are respected and accepted, then they make a good team. They work for the edification and perfection of the Saints of God and for the work of Christian service in order to build the body of Christ. Apostle Paul writes to the Saints of Ephesus saying, “And so we shall all come together to that oneness in our faith and in our knowledge of the Son of God; we shall become mature people, reaching to the very height of Christ’s full status [Ephesians 4:13]. To the Corinthians, He writes, “Christ is like a single body, which has many parts, it’s still one body, even though it is made up of different parts. In the same way, all of us, whether Jews or Gentiles, whether slave or freeborn, black or white have been baptized into the body by the same Spirit, and we have all been given the one Spirit to drink………..God Himself has put the body together in such a way as to give greater honor to those parts that need it. And so, there is no division in the body, but all its different parts have the same concern for one another [1 Corinthians 12:12-13, 24-25]. No one or part is considered less important.

 The Pastor cannot say to the Sexton we do not need your services. An Elder cannot demean a Music Director/Choir Master and say we do not need you and so on. It’s to the glory of God when they work together and make collective progress and achievement. The same happens in a business office. An office is made up of employees at different levels but all working together for the same goal. The manager respects the work of the security officer, just like the Director values the opinion of the Factory Supervisor, etc. Each person performs certain functions that help others to do their jobs and together achieve the goal of the organization. When structure is secured and fully accepted and respected, they have a goal to meet and a job to preserve; work together in harmony with less stress and make progress in unity.

In a family setting, the need for team spirit is even more important than elsewhere because the family is a smallest unit of the society and what happens there imparts the society at large. The family starts with good marriage, where couple [male and female] cleave together and become a unit and one; not only because they live in the same house but also accept and serve each other and enjoy their companionship. A family must share mutual respect and submission, have good communication and accept each other. A man is the husband and head of the family; he leads, provides and protects as well as has spiritual oversight on the home. A woman is the wife and the neck [helpmate] that is a suitable companion for the man; supporting and upholding their visions as well as provides care and comfort. They are also committed to and shall raise their God given children and household in the fear of God and in Christian discipline. For the union to work it must rest on the foundation of God and there must exist respect for authority in marriage and continuous reflection and meditation on the word of God. The couple and family must know and understand the bye law of marriage as designed, put together and directed by our Creator. In God’s design and plan, this couple must work together in love and discipline, in honesty and transparency; being responsible and accountable to each other.

Most of our community associations experience problem because members do not imbibe team spirit or play to the rule. Some people have no respect for leadership or one another. They are individual rangers and make individual successes but cannot stand as a team. Some find it difficult to work with other people; think highly of themselves and do not care about others. They form cliques and tell themselves what they want to hear. They are successful as individuals and may fail to lead a team to collective achievement. If you mistaken their individual successes and appoint them into a public or a union’s leadership, they may have problem because of lack of team spirit. Each great team must have a leader with a vision and team spirit. They must put in place the purpose and goals to achieve and the realistic plans that drive the vision and attend the goals. They also must have guidelines, rules and regulations to moderate and control human lapses and behavior. Every team member must understand that what he/she does affects other members of the team and also helps them play their part and meet the corporate goal.

Are you a lone or team player? We may find individual talented and gifted persons but they make a bad team; good people, fine, sweet and wonderful, enviable and respected achievers in their trades and rights but bad in marriage; an excellent personality and prosperous individuals with great learning and exposure, seasoned yet in turbulent and moribund union. These individuals even though with good dispositions and experiences can not get along as a people. The reason is not far-fetched; it bothers on selfishness, lack of respect for self and other people, lack of ‘give and take’ spirit and appreciating flea to deal with other people. Relationship coach Susan M. Campbell once said, “Teamwork is a constant balancing act between self interest and group interest.” Also Mike Krzyzewski said, “When your organization operates like a strong family, you can’t be knocked out by one punch.” Let’s achieve collective progress by working together in team spirit; standing in our duty post and doing our part while others do their part and together we make good successes. This is the challenge of every corporate entity and of course the secret on all aspect of our living.

Reach: Evangelist/Elder Ogbonnaya, Godswill at email: weefreeministries@yahoo.com or P. O. Box 720035, Houston, Texas, 77272; Web: www.weefreeministries.org; Call: 8328813929 (Cell).

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