God hates divorce
A story goes like this: In African country, a couple had sore relationship after years of marriage and the woman moved out with her four children of the union. She was lucky to open a business in a far city and became comfortable. After years of separation, the woman brought members of her family and asks for dissolution. The man informed his family who in turn invited the community as both participants and witnesses. The wife told the gathering that she asked for dissolution of the marriage because her husband no longer loves her and asked to have the two girls of the four children. The husband was then asked his opinion. He thanked the community for gathering and surprisingly chose the wife, adding that she is her first investment in life and he still love her and had no intention of re-marrying. At this point the dissolution ran into stalemate. Those who had gathered for dissolution turn out the reconciliation team. The case ended and the couple worked out a new beginning. I appreciate the first move of the wife, the choice of the husband and the wisdom of the community. True love has a price tag; we must not feel reluctant paying it. We come to marriage not to find a perfect person but to learn to see an imperfect person perfectly. Marriage may appear a daunting task even as we experience unbelievable pressure, but we were created for relationship and made for intimacy; so we have to make it work. However, sometimes the reverse happens.
We are living in an age and time that witness rampant divorces. The sky rocketing of divorce rate in our society today has become nightmare for concern. People are quick to marry and divorce for various reasons, some flimsy, others deep rooted issues. Some court for several years and married for months, and then divorce within a twinkle of an eye. These havocs we witness daily in our society, watched on TV programs and experience in our relationship and those of our closed ones. Divorce has become a way out of marriage deadlocks while its associated problems begging for our attention.
Divorce could mean separation, deform or severe of a relationship. When people divorce they part ways and become alienated from one another. They no longer share common bonds or mutual affection. Divorce is neither God made nor did the laws of God create or establish it. God detest divorce and never takes it lightly. As a matter of fact, though prophet Malachi God spoke explicitly on the matter. The Lord God of Israel says, “I hate divorce” [Mal.2:16]. Divorce had it first entrance into the affairs of men in the Garden of Eden. Here Satan in a serpent body deceived our first earthly parents into disobeying God’s commandment. By so doing he created a barrier between mankind and his Creator and that was sin. But God who had foreknown that mankind would fail had a redemption plan in place. God fulfilled this plan by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. On the cross of shame, he defeated Satan, crossed out death, sin and sadness, repossessed what the enemy had stolen; broke the barrier created and reconciled man to his Creator.
Divorce was a common practice of the Egyptians. The children of Israel imbibed that lifestyle from their host and put out their wives at will. They persuaded Moses to grant them permission to divorce their wives. Moses seeing the hardness of their hearts conceded to them, a near impossible permission, whereby only the highest court manned by Moses could issue such permit. The implication was that it could take several years before the highest court could hear, deliberate and decide on such cases, by which time the couples might’ve settled their difference or passed on. Even though Moses injunction did not encourage divorce but the children of Israel understood it differently. However the books of Ezra 9-10 and Nehemiah 13:23-27 urged the “men of the land” to put away their foreign wives married from among the Canaanites and Egyptians as means of national cleansing and attempt to revert to the covenant with God. Some Jews had continued in this practice even in Jesus day.
However it was to further bultress their chances and tempt Jesus that they confronted him about his stances on divorce. But Jesus answered “Don’t you know in the beginning God made them man and woman? That is why a man leaves his father and mother and joined to his wife and becomes like one person. They are no longer two people but one. He added what God had joined together let no man separate.” Jesus response supported preservation of marriage. They were grossed and then asked him: why then did Moses grant us permission to divorce our wives? Jesus again replied: it was because of the hardness of your heart (Matt. 19:8). It implies that even though God hates divorce but may permit it by means of concession because of unforgiveness [or hardness of human heart). The Law of Moses established guidelines to reduced rampant abuse of marriage through divorce. The Israelites divorced their Jewish wives to take pagan wives or/and remarried in order to collect dowries.
There are three types of divorce: Spiritual, Emotional and physical. Spiritual divorce occurs when the man [Spirit/image of God] in us is not link to God [who’s Spirit]. When the Spirit in us is so grieved that He becomes silence or inactive and does not control the body, all we do is fleshy. Emotional proceeds physical. Couples may be together but emotionally separated; their feelings and passion have been so hurt that they are distance from one another even though still together. They no longer care for each other and live lonely together. Physical divorce occurs where couples are physically separated; granted either by court of law or unanimously agreed. These are few biblical grounds where divorce is permissible: (a) adultery [Matt. 5: 32; 19:9] (b) desertion of a Christian by an unbelieving spouse [1Cor. 7:12-16]. Another contemporary reason that could warrant divorce is persistent physical and emotional abuse. However no matter on what grounds: immorality, desertion or abuse, none is an unforgivable sin.
Rather divorce is an acknowledgement that sin wreaks havoc in God’s design. Believe it or not, most times divorce may not be an answer to troubled relationship. Couples should give their relationship a priority and do not allow anything, I mean anything to come in between it. Marriage is like an old classic car from the first day that needs a lot of time and attention. It’s always getting older, needing constant tuning. If parked unattended to outside and exposed to weather, it becomes rusty and decay and devalued. However, if properly maintained: kept in good repair, regular tuning, polishing; regular attention: check oil, water and gas levels, tires and alignments its increase in value and serve longer. You can’t ignore it and expect it to run smoothly. Like wine beverage, the older the better. If you try to separate what has been glued or cleaved, it tears. Therefore strive to preserve the institution for the consequence of divorce is more than we can imagine. However, sometimes divorce is inevitable. It could be conceded where there are continuous abuses, lack of respect for each other and being wrong role model for the children and society.
Elder Ogbonnaya G. can be reached at: gkapin53@yahoo.com