FIND INSIDE SOLUTIONS TO INSIDE PROBLEMS.
A long time ago I went into a business office restroom and as I closed the door, I saw at the back of the door, a piece of cardboard securely pined on there and it reads, “Kindly leave whatever happens here inside here.” That I believe to mean, do not take whatever happens inside here outside. It appeals to users to drop all the dirt’s contacted in the toilet in there by cleaning their bodies and washing their hands thoroughly. I paused a bit and thought pensively about that instruction. That instruction seems to apply beyond the rest room. Since after then, I have met that instruction in many toilets and each time it gives me a food for thought. About couple of years later, I stumbled on and read another of Pastor Max Lucado’s book titled: When God Whisper Your Name and was so intrigued by the nineteen chapter headed: An Inside Job. He wrote, “Spray paint won’t fix rust. A Band-Aid won’t remove a tumor. Wax on the hood won’t cure the cough of a motor. If the problem is inside, you have to go inside.” Lucado added, “you cannot fix an inside problem by going outside.” The message become clearer and reminded me of the instruction I read in the restroom; led me into thinking about several untidy things that happened inside and we inadvertently take them outside for solution. Most times, they boomerang and bring hurts and pains yet not resolved.
The other day, I was driving to work, I heard mid-stream a Radio [92.1] Program discussion relating to why a great number of our children do badly at school and some drop-out. It was not unusual to hear some callers blamed the teachers and school system, the government and judiciary system for inadequate concern. However, I was glad when few parents’ callers hit the nail on the head by looking inward. They said some parents too had blames to take: most parents especially single mothers work two to three jobs and have little or no time to raise children with high moral standards, help them do their home works, and relate with the teachers and school system to ensure pupils well being and their educational progress. Some parents blamed the teachers and every other person and institution for what could have been fixed at home. Others blame the fathers of their children for being absent at home. It does not matter whether some fathers were kicked out of homes to obtain child support. Once again, some inside solutions will help solve inside problems.
I had to pause again and ask myself: Are there some inside problems that we carry outside? Do we often obtain lasting solution outside for inside problems? When two persons or parties have problems, should they not sit down and sort out issues than carry their dirty linens outside? Experiences reveal that most times outside solutions still depend on the two people or persons involved. That could explain why the US President Obama invited the Harvard Professor and Police Sergeant to the White House and gave them opportunity to talk things out. Two cannot walk together except they agree [Amos 3:3]. Could there be warning signs or call it alarms that go off and taken for granted? It could be that the other person or party pretended not to care but when fire alarms go off we tremble; when our car alarms go off we rush out or turn around to see what goes on. I had to ask myself again, what are the inside stuffs that we carry outside? I realized some possibly inside issues we often carry outside include: work place disagreements, marriage or home conflicts, Church misunderstanding and oversight, family union dissatisfaction and disagreement as well as friendship lapses and mistakes, etc. Most times these inside issues had warning signs but were ignored or taken for granted.
In our society today, alarms go off all the time. It may not be with horns and bells but with problems and pains. It may come from a familiar spot and way or unknown signals and we must pay attention and respond immediately. For example: when we act defensively out of guilty consciences or when we lie to cover another lie or keep silent when we should speak out the truth, then we know that something within is not right. Lucado opines that icy relationships are sign posted notices announcing anything from neglect to abuse. More often than we care to accept, our body or relationship alarms system sound audibly. Economic alarms go off to notify us that we are gradually going into crises; financial alarm warns us that our expenses exceed our income and we are living in debt. The weather experts give us warnings that radars indicate whether we shall expect rain or not; the coming of strong winds, storm or hurricanes etc. We all have alarms in our lives but how we respond to them when they go off are what matters. Some times when they go off we ignore them or look for answers somewhere else instead of inwards. We blame every other person and institutions but not ourselves. Some Christians are fond of rushing outside when the alarms go off inside. They are quick to blame God, their parents; husband blames wife and wife blames husband. They blame their plight on government and even those who tried to help them out or had no business of any type in the matter. They are quick to blame the Church and the pastors for their frail faith. Our problems may be challenging and undesirable but blaming other people is no solution or ignoring them.
Pastor Lucado opined, “A real change is an inside job. You might alter things a day or two with money and systems, but the heart of the matter is and always will be the matter of the heart.” Why do we neglect the alarm inside our bodies but respond quickly to the alarms outside? Is that being hypocritical or living in denial it does not exist or matter? I have come to believe that human beings are very pertinacious but pretend it does not exist. Come to think of it, our problem is not pretence, denial, carelessness or ignorance but sin. These character traits are all associated with satanic tendencies and appeals. When we become alienated from our Creator, we are in rebellion and that show in our behavior and actions. It also reveals who are referencing: God or Satan. When we are not in relationship with or disconnected to our Creator, we are cut off from the source of our life. There is a God created vacuum in every human being that only God can fill it. We were created neither by Satan, man nor legion of demons, so they can not fix our problems. Only God can solve our problems; He’s our fulfillment. He already did that in Christ Jesus on the cross of shame and it’s finished. All that is required of us is to accept His saving grace and be reunited to our source of life; live an abiding life with our Redeemer and Savior.
Alarms go off for reasons. There are signals that something is wrong and warning signs that need to be attended to very swiftly. It may not be something critical that deserves evacuation. It’s necessary and recommended that each time an alarm goes off, it should be checked to determine its cause and fix it, if need be. We should learn to attend promptly to small matters as if there are big because unresolved small matters accumulate and result into huge matters that could let hell loose. Most reoccurring issues that result into unresolved conflicts were swept into the cooler but unfortunately they never got cold. While in the cooler they were boiling like volcano awaiting eruption. It may not take much to resolve an internal matter than it takes when it is taken outside. An African adage says, “What it takes to prevent an elephant from entering a farm land is nothing compared with what it shall destroy when it gets into the farm.”The problems we encounter remind us that life is not meant to avoid pains and that to love is to accept the risk of hurting.” Christian life does not exonerate us from having problems [Matthew 10:38]. Apostle Paul even told us that we should expect and be prepared to face troubles in marriage and family life [1 Corinthians 7:28].
Real solution to inside problem may not exist outside, especially in a society that lacks ideal community; where legality rules without morality and truth is rationalized and suppressed. Even where a community or an institution exists, does the couple belong and have allegiance to it and would they accept and respect their decisions? Do we have elders in the said community who are elders indeed and worth their salts? Such elders who rule well deserve double honors. Do we have Spiritual leaders in our Churches that will stand for God and intervene truthfully, even when that will make them unpopular with their high money giver? Do we have God fearing men with the passion to seek the wellbeing and restore peace in families or those who just make money out of them at every cost not minding how they do it? Since they are rare in our world, we should avoid the temptation of turning small annoyance into a massive catastrophe. It takes honesty, acceptance of responsibility and the spirit of forgiveness as well as the love and desire to keep the relationship and make it work. Indeed in marriage relationship, it has been recommended that issues be resolved daily before couples go to bed or before the next day. There should be no store room for unresolved problems.
How can you carry unresolved inside problem and lift up “holy hands” in daily meditations and Church worship as well as participate in communion of saint? The Lord does not look at things the way man looks. Man looks outward appearance but the Lord looks inside [1 Samuel 26:7]. Do you then know you can not deceive God? Alarms serve good purposes and must not be taken for granted. They signal the presence of problems. If not resolved, they could trigger bigger problems that the insiders may not find it easy to contain or resolve. Outside solutions may not work in all inside problems. An outsider may not be able to do enough justice except the insiders agree to his process. So why not settle it at first hand inside. It may involve sacrificing short time pleasure and comfort in order to achieve long term gains and family peace or accepting your error/ mistake, even if doing so hurts and brings down your ego and self dignity. It makes no difference since your family is part of you and the greatest assets you have. Suffer it so for the overall interest of family well being.
As the year 2009 ends, remember you are not defeated until you lose your patience. Keep seeing the possibilities; it may take time but nothing is impossible. Mountains do not just move overnight. Problems are simply signals and alarms; bumps and possibly detours but not stop signs or dead ends. Do not loose sight of the truth that after the storm there is rainbow; the rain comes after dryness. It’s the little things that bring down giants. Inside problems are like diseases, they spread fast and before you know they have done great damage and paralyze the body resulting into death of relationship. On the contrary, little acts of kindness, good deeds done in love, in encouraging words spoken at the right time ease burdens, stop grudges and agonies as well as heal wounds. Do not quench the lamp, keep it burning. Peace is not often easy to catch; we sometimes must be ready to sacrifice pride, to pursue peace and grab it. Have a fulfilling Christmas and fruitful New Year.
Reach: Evangelist Ogbonnaya, Godswill at: weefreeministries@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 720035, Houston, Texas, 77272.
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