“Men have sight; Women insight” – Victor Hugo
In our world, men and women interact in the family, at work and Church, in sports and indeed everywhere. The scriptures tell us that God made a man from the soil of the earth; a woman out of the completed work of a man but every man is born by a woman. A man is physical and the world is his heart while a woman is emotional and her heart is her world. “Women marry men hoping they can change while men marry women hoping they will not………The differences between men and women have delighted and puzzled us throughout human history.” A woman was created with a child bearing body but a man was not [until the recent new age news of a pregnant man gives birth!]. This half truth can cause havoc in the minds of the young and the uninformed. “To deny uniqueness of the sexes and supplant God’s sexual ground rules with misguided struggle to swap roles or deny their existence altogether has serious consequences.”
One interesting lesson is that the Creator designed and built them with different strengths and weaknesses, resources and needs so that they can cleave together and to fit into each other; work together as a team. As a companion, one would therefore become a completion to the other and the strengths of one complements the strengths of the other. In Husband who won’t lead and wife who won’t follow, James Walker says, “And though it is God who is the ultimate answer to the deepest needs of every human, nonetheless He created male and female: man was made to lead, provide and protect; woman was made to respond, nurture and provide the moral influence of the society.” Our modern view of the role of men and women may have changed but the basic characteristics and built in sexual differences never changed. The more man try to design and build in uni-sex orientation and attempt to ignore God inbuilt gender differences, the more the differences cry for attention. The new found attitudes of independence, emotional detachment and self- sufficiency have put so many marriages and relationships on jeopardy, living lonely together and crumble.
The simply frankness and reality of our being is that deep down in each male and female there is a common longing: the desire to find comfort, companionship and fulfillment. Whatever differences that exist between a man and woman, God designed it to meet His purpose: to create harmony and satisfaction among them. However these differences have been misguided and mishandled; they have created fictions, frustrations, disharmony, competition and rivalry as well as strife and division. Writing in the Philadelphia Trumpet, April, 2009 on Understanding the opposite sex, Joel Hilliker says, “….each person you encounter present fresh challenges in how to behave without being misinterpreted or hurt. At times the complications of opposite – sex relationships capsize what actually could have developed into a deeper friendship – even a happy marriage. However God the Creator had given us ground rules to make our relationship with opposite sex workable.” In His word, He prescribes the recipes for harmonized union with opposite sex. It works if known and applied timely.
First understand the differences between a man and woman and know how to deal with them. Understand the signs of friendship; initiate and reciprocate transparency, mutual respect and submission. Serve each other selflessly. Concentrate on the strengths, not weaknesses. Do not try to change anybody; only God can. Wear daily forgiveness like dress and avoid freeze up; find daily appreciation in every event and trash the blames. Stop using your mate as a sign or mirror of performance and self-worth. The only mirror that will accurately reflect you is the unchanging word of God. It may be politically insensitive to accept that men and women are different and marriage is between man and woman; even in the cost of loosing world titles and suffering hostility, disappointment and persecutions, God’s standard continues to hold up against the world’s false standards today. Let God’s be true and the world’s false; every disappointment and hostility brings God’s appointment and uncommon favor. Indeed we are different but made for a good purpose. Enjoy our differences and be thankful to God.