Who is your friend?
In our days and world, human beings in the midst of hate, terror, unending political conflicts and uproars, seek and clamor for peace, friendship and love, but these have been eluding us. The nearest man may have come close to having one could be at the genesis of creation. The bible says that God saw all He created, there were very, very good and He blessed them. Shortly after, the woman exercised her freewill by listening to another gospel from Satan. What we hear most seem to fill our hearts and affect our behaviors. Also Satan tempts us in areas of our freewill vulnerability. The multiplier effect of that single choice is common knowledge. Thereafter the world has experienced neither real peace nor friendship. That may explains why we talk peace but end up behaving hate. We live in conflicts and unending wars.
In the book of Samuel, the friendship between David and Jonathan is accorded extol status yet it was full of turmoil and afflictions. King Saul, Jonathan’s father was after David’s life but Jonathan helped him endure the hardships and shield assassinations. That also brings to mind one of Macbeth’s series named Julius Caesar. Julius Caesar trusted His friend, Marcus Brutus implicitly and they shared great thoughts and secrets intimately. But unknown to Caesar, his so-called trusted friend, Brutus had conspired with Roman Soldiers to kill him. On the Ides of March, 44 BC, the devil was on the loose. The egg was hatched, as Caesar lifted up his eyes, he saw his friend Brutus among the conspirators coming after him, he exclaimed “et tu Brute!” meaning ‘even you Brutus.’ Our Lord Jesus Christ also suffered similar betrayal from one of his own, named Judas Iscariot. Even after Jesus had revealed that one of them shall betray Him but curse be him, Judas still ran out among them, took bribe from the Pharisees, the High Priest and Elders and betrayed his master and friend [Matt.26:47-50]. Judas was one of Jesus’ companion and confidant. He was claimed to be the trustee/treasurer of the disciples-in-council. He was among those Jesus promoted from servants to friends. What could’ve prompted a man of Judas caliber to such hideous act is still a mystery. When the time came, Jesus lifted his eyes and saw Judas coming with the conspirators after Him.
I have observed that some people often misconstrued acquaintance for friendship and circles of casual friends for best friend. By friends they could mean those who drink, dine and hang out with them in the days of fun. Those who share common interest with them, discuss sports, politics, and attend Church services. Have they been tested? ‘The real test of a man is not when he plays the role he wants for himself, but when he plays the role destiny has for him’ by Vaclav Havel. Also Rev. Dr Martin Luther King Jr. said, ‘the ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in the moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.’
Senator Hilary Clinton was quoted saying during a telecast, “my husband is my best friend and best adviser.” A preacher made a similar claim, ‘my wife is my best friend’ we are naked to each other; could discuss anything and respect each other’s opinion. We love being together, cherish our love and friendship and discuss our deepest secrets.” You may say they are lucky, aren’t they? They may have had their trials and survived them. Others may think they are not real. But that is what relationship is supposed to be. On the contrary to some, their partners are their worst enemies. They live daily in conflict and are lonely together; some have settled simply as room mates. They maintain best relationship outside their homes.
On another level, we live in a wealth society. When you have money, you have many friends [Proverbs 19:4]. They are available even when you do not need them. They sing your praise and extol your good deeds in your presence but mock and capable of stabbing your back. They may even be jealous of your success and achievements but pretend to be happy for you; most times it all depends on what they are positioned to gain from you. However, there’s a friend who stick closer than a brother [Proverbs 18:24]. Do you have such a friend? They are there for each other through family crises and family triumphs. They support one another through many joys and challenges – when things are rough, needs company or someone to open up to; when other roads are closed, hope is lost, as well as in the moment of jubilations and ceremonies.
Like Jonathan said to David, “whatever you want me to do, I will do for you.” David cherished and appreciated Jonathan’s friendship, such that even when Jonathan died and David become a king, he sought and found Jonathan’s surviving handicap son named Mephibosheth and brought him to live and eat with him daily in his palace. He also restored to him all the land and inheritance that belonged to his deceased grandfather, late King Saul! [2 Samuel 9f]. Perhaps it was for this reason that king Solomon said, ‘A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity’ [Proverbs 17:17]. Lynn Norman writing under ‘Sister speaks’ in Ebony of August 2002 said, ‘True friendship is a safety net that keeps you from hitting rock bottom. When the going gets tough friendship increases in intensity.” Yet so many people take friendship for granted. However when friendship get too close for comfort, it could be that the two are pursuing different goals or the trust level has diminished.
It’s always good to have at least one friend who is your confidant. He/she shall know your inner life, even better than your spouse. You could look at each other eye to eye, and express deep feelings whether pleasing or hurting. It could be for your advantage or used against you in gossips, slander or lies. It’s the risk of relationship. King David cried out in hurt and emotional pains when he was betrayed by a close friend [Psalm 55:12-14]. Caesar felt depressed and pains while Jesus experienced the idol in human heart. True friendship is built on trust, transparency and vulnerability. Many people want to change their situation but reluctant to change themselves. Not all persons are prepared to construct the bridge of true friendship, even though they often desire to make best friendship. It’s true we need one another because two are better than one; they help to bring up one another when they are down. However, pity is the man who falls and has no one to help up [Ecclesiastes 4:9-10]. Though one may be over-powered, two can defend themselves [Pro. 27:6, 9&17]. True friends should put each other in check, where the need arises. This type of reality check is healthy.
True friendship exists most times in youthful ages and may flow into adulthood especially among singles or perhaps same sex. Marriage seems to kill such friendship, when it involves opposite sex, except both couples accepts to keep it. Some that continued after marriage had resulted into inappropriate affection, lust and sometimes sexual relationship. Even when issues of inappropriate affection is played down, such friendship could still arouse untold jealousies and ill feelings among couples causing undue suspicions, distrust and could as well rock the relationship. Our society may frown at and discontinue such link after marriage, especially if it was close. Who is your friend? What’s the level of trust? There is a friend who loved us when we were not lovable; accepted us even before we became acceptable. His name is Jesus, the Son of the Most High God. Would you consider making Jesus your friend now? He’s just, faithful and does not fail. The choice is yours but if you do, you can’t regret it. Jesus loves you even before you realize it. Step up your desire and make a decision, now.
Reach: Evangelist Ogbonnaya, Godswill @weefreeministries@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 720035, Houston, Texas, 77272. Web:weefreeministries.org; Ph: 832.881.3929.c