PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER
Marriage is an honorable thing. The creator designed and instituted it with a manual to work through its success. Any diversion from the laid down principles attract associated consequences. Most times we easily blame our failings on God and other people but not ourselves. It does not matter how we perceive it, the creator and designer said, ‘it is not good for man to stay alone. I shall make him a helpmate’ [Gen.2:18]. Before then God created man in his image and likeness; male and female He created them [Gen. 1:27]. The word man symbolizes a spiritual being; could be male or female. These two creatures were one and naked before each other without shame. They had left mother and father and cleave together to establish a new unit, a couple bonded or glued such that only death was supposed to separate them. These days divorce and legal separation do put them apart. Other than God, their relationship was the ultimate commitment.
In advance world due to freedom to live life as one likes, some people just run into one another simply hibernate or cohabitate and chose to forgo marriage. Initially it was between a man and a woman but it has unbelievably escalated to man and man, woman and woman and human beings and pet [dogs, monkey etc]. Years back it was an open secret but today it is an acceptable norm and common knowledge. They do not care what the repercussions of their behaviors are. The government in an attempt to arrest the problem compounded it by creating common law marriage and gave women support to have children without husbands. Today the problem has grown beyond mere imagination. In the name of liberty most adult have multiply sex partners that it now takes DNA to determine the biological fathers of their children. A great number of teens even below the age of eighteen get pregnant and make babies out of marriage. Just like their parents some are not sure who the fathers of their kids are. Others behaved out of control that they are spending time in the penitentiaries. Some of them still believe they are happy single; independent and in control of their lives.
Despite the high rate of divorce and negative images portrayed in movies and televisions, human beings are social beings and crave intimacy; have a culture that prefers marriage relationship. Marriage in cultural sense and in Christian prospective implies relationship between a man and a woman, committed to a life long marital union. Caught up in adolescent and youthful bliss many young people plug the fruit before cementing the stem. They appear to confuse sex with love. Some get pregnant and give birth to one or two kids with their first time lovers and are neither married nor have any intent. These young people failed to see things in ideal or realistic fashion. They failed to envisage the changes and challenges of new relationship and the consequences of sex outside marriage; the security of life as age ticks away. They failed to realize that sex is more spiritual than physical; when one person yields into another it’s a bond beyond words.
Others just jump into marriage but have no anticipation of the associated stress arising from conflicts, crises and daily hassles. They want the gains but reject the pains. They believe they can make mistakes and learn from them. As easy as that saying goes, it’s more difficult to learn from one’s mistakes than simply follow the manual instructions and adhere to the wisdom of parents as well as learn from their experiences. Some mistakes are costly; could ruin one’s life and lands one behind the bars. It could destroy one’s self image beyond repairs. However mistakes could serve as promotional tools. These do not make us less human but show we are growing. Funny enough many still learn nothing from their mistakes. The truth is revealed as many of those who made mistakes in their early ages feel need for life’s partners in their middle life [ages between 30 and 45]. They come to realized that to be married is still the best option and secured way in life; even when some hate the idea of having one man or woman as partner all their life. Others just need someone to satisfy their innate orgies and help raise their children as the biological partners are incapacitated, incarcerated or unknown.
Pastor T.D. Jakes opined that the ideal is that couples should enter into marriage pure and undefiled. Marriage should begin in marital beds where two persons come together naked in body and soul, in pursuit of purity and newness. But today we enter our marriage beds with burdens and weighted down with our sore past. These include broken vows, comparing past relationship and experiences; failures we find difficult to let go as well as diseases spreading and killing young people at their productive ages. Many couples today are not waving blood stained bed sheets after wedding nights since the honey had already been taken out of the moon. Why do we still put on veils’ when virginity is no longer a virtue and go on honeymoon when there’s no honey in the moon? Individual experiences may differ. “Life is very much like a puzzle. I mean a riddle wrapped inside a puzzle and we like pieces have fallen on the floor. Some stepped on, some lost or scattered, carelessly kicked under the couch but amid these oddly shaped fragment, there are two that fit each other. Not because they are perfect but they cleave together to compliment each other. They are the fitting of two souls who have come together believing God to heal their past and enhance their future.” The good news is like clay in porter’s hand, we are marred and damaged but the Holy Spirit put together the pieces.
When we come to our senses, there’s an inward desire to return to the ideal or reality and make peace with our father. One wonderful characteristic of our Creator is that He has always kept an open door for his runaway children. Even when we exclude him in our scheme of things, he included us on the cross of shame, resurrected for us and ever willing to accept us back any time. All we need is quest to return. The God who cares for the birds of the air, grass in the fields and different creatures in depth and surface of the earth has more provision and passion for mankind. When we turn to God, confess our failings and put our faith in his son Jesus Christ, we are saved and become new creatures. Our past ceases to matter. God in his mercy restores us and gives us the Holy Spirit, the Enabler, the Advocate to bind the wounds and put the pieces together. God open new phase in our lives that shall be full of his mercies and favor. He takes our mistakes and replaces them with his grace and righteous. He has risen so that we also rise above our past and live new in the future.
Evangelist Ogbonnaya, Godswill can be reached by email:gkapin53@yahoo.com