11] Conditions for ordain marriage to prosper:
“Marriage is likened to a good hand washing technique. The two fists wash, scrub and rub each other until there are thoroughly clean. The two fists need each other and do better when the two work together. Marriage is also liken to a walking process where one foot steps forward and the other behind upholds and gives support as well as get ready to step forward in an exchange position When the two hang up or step down there is a problem.”
It’s possible for an ordain marriage to remains stagnant or crumbles. This happens when it’s left unattended to and when it lacks daily nourishment; when it’s not given a priority and taken for granted. Marriage has been likened to buying an old dilapidated car from day one. It demands for greater attention and care; it’s given a priority.
Below are few but critical success factors in a marriage union:
a] Keep Godly foundation: Psalm 127:1; Proverbs 8: 33-34; 24:3.
No one else care about your marriage more than god does. That is why He instituted most infallible instructions on how married couples should treat and relate to each other.
Commitment; Commitment is a significant factor in managing success. Committed couples find way to improve and nourish the union. They work through differences and find compromising solutions; more tolerant of each others flaws and tend to accept each other for who they are than trying to change him/her. They will help out the other spouse who is working more hours for the family; help out in places of needs and share, bear each others burden. They also work hard to make the marriage work.
Mutual respect: Couples should strive to respect each others position at home and in the work place [Ephesians 5: 21]. Angie Lewis wrote, “I respect my husband and his spiritual leadership in the house. I respect his judgment and guidance. Even if he makes mistakes, we shall discuss it privately. He has a masculine influence and I have the feminine disposition – our children need both.” Angie asked what influence I would show to our boys if I constantly boss and belittle their father. Respect each other for who He/she is. If a man feels disrespected the natural instinct to provide, protect and adore the wife is derailed. If a woman feels disrespected, she wouldn’t have the urge to provide care and warmth for the husband and comfort for the family. Disrespect kills the wife willingness to submit and a husband urge to love. As a matter of fact, people earn respect; man and woman each deserves respect. It is a two-way street: what you give out comes back to you. You may not agree with the opinion of the other person but know that he/she is entitled to an opinion; listen to her/him and gently and courteously say your opinion and why. Be careful to choose the words you use and how you use them. The respect couples have for each other is the same they share with their children. When we treat each other and our children with respect at home, we carry the same outside the home whether at Church, work place, community gatherings and even with our neighbors as well as all the people that comes in contact with us. The book, Good family don’t just happen expresses, the way we speak to and treat our spouse is a sign of respect: it’s not only the words that matter.
Spend quality time together: Quality time together is not necessary to have sex but it could lead to it. It is not time to discuss bills, schools, kids, work house chores and any other everyday duties/activities. Rather it’s a time to appreciate each other, learn to listen to each other; to share about yourself and what we could do for each other. We could talk about how we feel about certain issues and things that could possibly suffocate the relationship [Ecclesiastics 9:9]. This intimate moment make marriage more alive, provoke more love and appreciation of the strength and weakness that both brought into the union. It stimulates romance, provide opportunity to share feeling with each other and communication meaningfully and productively – respect is the core to effective communication. Learn to honestly listen; share thoughts and feelings with your spouse and in return listen to his/hers. In this moment you learn to understand each other by accepting what your spouse shares even when you don’t agree with all his/her viewpoint. If the atmosphere is ripe for it, you talk about troubling issues and new ideas, suggest things you could do together in future, holidays and other projects as well as discuss changes you would like adopt into the family. It is a time primary to talk about how you love each other and appreciate what you are for each other and for the family.
b] Commitment:
c] Respect
d] Submission
e] Encourage each other
f] Spend quality time together