9] Who is marriable: Who should be considered ready for marriage? Marriage is too serious a business to check in with a stranger. Must you try to know one whom you desire to spend a life time with? Or think you will know him/her as you age in the union?
a] Must be born again: [1 Cor 6:14; John3:6-7; John1:12; 1 Cor 2:14].
b] Must be established /preserved in faith [Gen 2:7-8, 15, 18; Col 2:6-7].
c] Must be weaned from parents and other relations Gen 2:24; Luke 14:25-26; Matt. 12:47-50].
“Christian marriage has been described as a lifelong commitment and companionship between a man and a woman with exclusive love and fidelity with one another. It’s also known as “troth” which means loyal or pledged faithfulness, fidelity.”
This description is summed up in the Gospel of Mathew 19:4-6,[Read] where Jesus spoke about the importance of marriage in reference to Genesis 2:18, 24-25:
Gen. 2:18 – Man needs a companion, helper/helpmate suitable for him. Both signifies unity which is strength; to encourage and support each other, selflessly serve each other and satisfy sexual needs as well as keep company.
Gen. 2 :24 – they become one, a couple and a unit. They become strong, unshakable and have great bonding; committing, respecting and selflessly serving each other.
Gen 2:25 – naked which means transparent. Do you feel close and comfortable or distant to your spouse? Can you share anything without fears?
This is God’s plan for marriage; it’s forever. Marriage remains one of God’s greater gifts to His children. God’s plan for marriage holds the blueprints for rebuilding unity, mutual trust and to mirror His relationship with His bride, the church. This is a covenant made with God on a marriage /wedding day. It rests on God’s covenantal faithfulness. God’s word clearly states that marriage is ordained by God to be a lifelong commitment, but unfortunately our society expends so much energy and time looking for an acceptable ways to get out of a marriage covenant that is for life. However, when divorce occurs it should be an exception to the norm; it’s not God’s fault but human. Due to human error, Satan has hindered on God’s creation. We fail to accede to the principles the institutor laid down for marriage to be successful. Just the same way many want to drive on our roads but ignore road signs and driving safety rules. We also want to be Christians but neither study manual nor meditate on the word; pray epileptically only when we get stock or have problems.
We need to see marriage as the institution that God created and not something man invented for the sake of convenience. God has inscribed some of His own plan for strong marriage relationships in the very nature and character of man and woman. However a Godly marriage is not created to finding a perfect, flawless person but is created by allowing God’s perfect love and acceptance to flow through one imperfect person-you- toward another imperfect person-your mate.
“Marriage is no fairing-tale land of enchantment. But you create an oasis of love in the midst of a harsh world. So perfection does not exist in it. You have to approach the first few years of marriage with a learner’s permit to work out your incompatibilities.” It could be a continuous process and demand continuous efforts.” It then means that even before creation God had destined marriage to be successful. He also laid foundation to follow to make it a success. Unless we learn and follow persistently God’s laid out conditions for marriage, we shall fail. I say boldly that marriage does not fail but people who enter into marriage and not ready and willing to follow and abide with the Designer/Maker conditions for success, fail.
10] Today, -The Family Altar contains these two stories:
[a] The Blame Game: Just recently a Pastor was asked to meet with a couple whose marriage was in trouble. The wife spent half an hour explaining what was wrong with her husband, and when she was through, the husband listed all the ways his wife had failed him. They were playing the familiar blame game invented by Adam long ago when he blamed his wife and said to God, “The woman you put here with me- she gave me some fruit from the tree and I ate it.” Does that sound like you or me? [May 14, 2008].
[b] Behind closed doors: In his book, The man in the mirror, Patrick Morley quotes a successful businessman, who says, “I know that my marriage looks like the picture of success, but behind the closed doors of my private castle, life is very different.” Throughout the years I’ve found myself in homes that outwardly looked like a picture of harmony but in reality were more like a battlefield or walk-in freezer because of unresolved anger.” Is that the picture of your house? [May 15, 2008]