Love season is here.
The word love appears the most misconstrued and misused word I have ever come across. It is applied to a variety of issues and attitudes that could range from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. Some people believe love is abstract; others believe it is a feeling. Everyone describes it from one’s point of understanding and usage. There is a kind of love between a mother and a child. Another between two persons; it could be same sex friends; yet another between one and his unfriendly friends as well as one between God and His creation. You can love someone without liking the person. You may not have any warm feelings and emotions for the person[s]. For example: Jesus loved the Pharisees but did not have emotions for them. They had hypocritical attitude and hatred him. This emanated from the love Christ had with the Father that He also has for human beings. It’s an unconditional love that in spite of our failings, shortcomings and iniquities, He loves us. He does not like all we do, but He loves us anyway and anyhow. Jesus urges us to love each other as He loves us [John 15:12].
Writing on what is tough love, Duncan Kelly wrote, “Love is not easy, or cosy, or comfortable. It’s tough; giving expecting nothing in return. At times it can be thorny, and your heart can be pierced by pain and your eyes burn with tears. But these things are endured because we know that they are but stepping stones to a greater good. They are rough chariots taking us to a better world. At the end of the ride we find forgiveness, healed relationships, a subterranean joy that gurgles deeply inside our souls. We find that life has meaning and purpose, as we remove our eyes from ourselves and start seeing the needs in others.” Whether it’s Eros, Phileo or Agape, there could work together for common good.
Human beings in our natural dispositions like to give to those who give to them. We feel cheated or being stupid giving to those who do not care or give to us. The question that people often battle with is: how can we love those who hurt and betray us? Some of them are family members, co-workers and unfriendly friends or even Church members. The funny thing about it is as you wake up most mornings you meet them; see them every day at work or sit in the pew next to them in the Church auditorium. The world is full of hurtful people. Yet the scriptures admonish us: “to love our enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” We learn to overlook their faults, be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of love [Ephesians 4:2]. It may not be easy to avoid them but instead go the extra mile in helping and serving them as well as praying for them. Little wonder love is tough, very demanding and self giving.
This brings to mind a piece I read from TODAY [The family Altar] of May, 2008 and it reads: “Someone in a nursing home once asked an elderly man why he came to visit his wife every day when she no longer knew him. He answered: But I still know her, and I promised to love her for better or for worse.” Love could means forgoing a high paying job in a distant city just to be together with and take care of your sick spouse or child. It could mean cutting down on your overtime hours and return home to be with your spouse and family. It could mean not giving your child [ren] everything he/she wants; turning off video game and TV to make sure the child does home work. It could mean living on a moderate family budget to avoid buying a big house and an expensive car yet living at work and loosing your family. It’s tough love to forgive your spouse for putting you down before your children and friends just because he/she bakes more bacon than you. It is tough love to live beyond betrayal.
February is lover’s [valentine] month. It should be an everyday affair. I really pray that we find some peace and love to enjoy and no longer endure love. Let us begin a new. Don’t forget the gift and the outing. It is good for a change and add tonic to the relationship.