Therefore Examine Yourself! It wasn’’t a baffle. The September 2013 Disciple Digest’s contention that the ACF seminar featured speakers lifted not a finger regards meaningfully discussing the featured topic: “Where is God in your marriage?” never surprised me. I believe there are others in the know, like the writer of that disciple digest, as well, whom his contention constituted a no surprise to them too. There are several reasons that could be suggested for their look warmness.
First, the topic is theologically more complex than it actually appears at first sight. To meaningfully discuss the topic, therefore, the discussant must consequently, dig deeper into his/her theological reserve. Such activity takes one’s time. Meanwhile, experience has shown that such requirement is what most smoothes sailing, money minded motivational discussants of the contemporary (Pentecostal?) religious climate would have little or no time for. It should therefore, be understandable why it was a smart move on their part to simply gloss over it. In that way, they can easily maneuver unto a more lucrative money topic as tithing, offering and seeding.
Second, since it is a theologically profound topic, the genuine discussant, who must sufficiently express the necessary biblical truth hidden in the seminar topic, would have no other option than to turn and depend totally on the word of God for his doctrine. Now, contrast this theological Burden with what it means to be a Pentecostal/ Charismatic and the difficulty will become clear to you why there must be a general reluctance at dealing with the topic. Contrast that requirement with today’s Pentecostal/ Charismatic religious climate where the Bible is considered an insufficient source of revelation for their doctrines and you should be clear why they must skip the topic. To deal with the topic which would automatically mean admitting the all sufficiency of Scriptures alone for every teaching would prohibit their current believe in their ministers and prophets claim to retain the ability to directly hear from God, see visions, prophesy, heal the sick and perform miracles. Not only that, such reliance upon the Scriptures as the only source for any human being to hear from God today would demand they abandon their current claim to have access to baptism of the Holy Spirit, ability to speak in tongue, raise the dead, drink any deadly poison without hurt, etc. Thus, it was, in our view, a wise move on their part to not tamper with the seminar topic.
To begin with, suppose we were in a position to suggest any impute to the conversation, we would have specified that any body who would meaningfully discuss the topic must first correctly delineate theologically, the following question: who was the question directed? That is to say, the seminar topic: “Where is God in your marriage?” who should answer it; is it the husband—man in the marriage, or wife–woman in the marriage? It is critical that the discussant properly perceive and locate the seminar question to prevent error. Otherwise, the potential for this teaching to proceed from a false premise certainly exists. What we are saying here is that if such error became the case, then you feel invited to be our guest as to its outcome.
So far, we have advanced here the theologically complex nature of the seminar topic and pertinence that it be biblically perceived and allotted to curb possible doctrinal error. This is necessarily so; since it is beyond doubt in our contemporary society, that when a marriage relationship is dissolved through divorce, the man usually loses his investment in and headship of the family to the woman. Therefore, the propensity for the Christian to collapse his Biblical interpretation of this topic into this secular societal standpoint is always imminent. Given this context, the tendency very much exists that when faced with the question: “Who should answer it?” most Christians will simply reply both husband and wife.
That being the case, a litmus test is, at this juncture, necessary. Therefore, test yourself. Who do you say should answer the above question? Is it the husband or the wife? If you answered husband and wife, notice then that you have already fallen prey to the secularist world view of our contemporary society. However, remember where you have fallen because you must repent, in our view.
At any rate, a few reasons for our stance should for now suffice. First, marriage isn’t a human invention. God created it. As a direct result, it is not subject to human improvement upon or the secularist reformulation such as you have endorsed.
More important, God cannot be placed inside, outside, at the centre, or a corner of a marriage. Likewise, He cannot be made into a passive or active marriage partner as suggested in the September 2013; Digest. Anybody who thinks of the biblical God in these terms deceives his or herself. Marriage relational positioning and role playing are the sole responsibilities of a marriage couple. Otherwise, God will certainly be blamed for whatever goes wrong if He were to occupy say a centre positioning in a marriage. In our view, God is either or not directly involved in a marital relationships. After all, God is not man. Adam, our first ancestor, attempted to drag God into his marriage to Eve, but woefully failed. What it is that gives us, his descendants, the impetus to then think that we will succeed in such an enterprise is not very clear to us.
Second, our view that a man alone is to answer the question is sound because a husband is always the leader of his marriage, in biblical terms. That is to say, he is always the leader of his wife, in God’s eyes. Traditional African Religion, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Western Civilization, etc., all recognize this truth. There may be exceptions, but in normal circumstances God leads a marriage through the husband. At the beginning, he created the man to lead the woman (Gen. 2:18-25) Also, it is the man that takes a wife; and the woman that is always given away in a marriage (Ex. 2:1; 21:7-10; 22:16-17; Lev. 21:7, 13-14, 34:16; Deut. 7:3 24:5; Ezra. 9:2,12; Matt. 24:37-38; 1Cor. 7:2-4).
Further, the New Testament is crystal clear that a husband is head of the wife. God will not go against His word as particularly expressed here (Eph. 5:22-24). In this connection, the husband is given authority over his wife (1Cor. 7:4). Accordingly, “Where is God in your marriage?” belongs squarely in a husband’s court. Not the wife.
On the other hand, if there were to be anything in human language comparable to God sharing a place in a marriage, it will all have to do with the priority role which a couple in a marriage relationship gives God’s word to play. In such case, we modify the question to read “Where is God’s Word in your marriage?” Thus modified, both husband and wife can then answer the question. For an instance, if a husband acknowledges and demonstrates to his wife, his knowledge of God’s word, the priority role which he has given that word to play in his marriage life; his wife will follow suit–him. After all, a wife’s best biblical evidence capable of attesting to the involvement of God’s word in a woman’s marriage life isn’t in the pulpit; but where she places her husband, the role she lets him play in her life. In this circumstance, she can place her husband at the centre, corner even outside of her marriage, but not God. Similarly, a husband can also place his wife at the centre, corner even outside of his marriage, but not God. Back to the seminar question we assert that only the man is to give an answer.