I STILL KNOW HER!!!
I heard a story that a man in his late ‘60’s visited his wife in the Nursing Home daily and had breakfast with her at 7am everyday; spent the whole day with her and left at 7pm after dinner with her at about 6.30pm. The wife could no longer recognize him. This he did dutifully and religiously. During one of such occasion, a nurse jokingly asked the man why he was still bothering to come and be with the wife when she did not recognize him anymore. The husband looked at the nurse and paused a little bit. He replied, “I still know her and God knows us. I will keep our vows until death do us part.” What an amazing response and great lesson!!! Who say men are not faithful and do not love to last? Even though the wife did not recognize him anymore, he still knew her and kept his vows and obligations. Was that surprising? It got not be because that’s what marriage is all about…….to love and cherish until death do you part.
I also came across another story in our Daily Bread of May, 2011 titled “Helpful Love” and its first and second paragraphs read, “At the end of my mother’s earthly journey, she and Dad were still very much in love and shared a strong faith in Christ. My mother had developed dementia and began to lose memories of even her family. Yet Dad would regularly visit her at the Assisted Living Home and found ways to accommodate her diminished capacities. For instance, he would take her some saltwater taffy, unwrap a piece, and place it in her mouth – something she could not do for herself. Then as she slowly chewed the candy, Dad would quietly sit with her and hold her hand. When their time together was over, Dad, beaming with a wide smile, would say, “I feel such peace and joy spending time with her.”
These two stories bring out some great and enviable virtues worth pondering on as highlighted below:
*Marriage is honorable at all times *Couples have covenant with God and each other; covenant with God is everlasting and separation has consequences. *Physical disabilities do not guarantee or warrant dishonor of vows or diminish the love for each other. *The behaviors displayed by these men were onward-out manifestation of the love inside. *These actions/behaviors did not just start at the point of illness but a continuation of what had been in practice/motion while they lived their rosy/juicy life. *These husbands still knew their wives even when the latter suffered illnesses and disabilities; could not know their spouse or family members any longer. *These husbands displayed compassion and care; they know God hold them responsible and are accountable on the last day. *Children who are products of the relationship and covenant are raised and trained [different from teached], groomed and nourished in that love such that they shall emulate and do same. *The hospital workers and other patients may have been influenced positively by that husband’s behaviors. *The testimonies emanated/arising from these God’s fearing and honored behaviors give God praise and glory; support Christian faith and ideals.
These stories may appear fairy tales but indeed go beyond just physical disabilities into the morality and the security that marriage gains bring into reality. We live at a time and era that people enter into marriage for only gains [for best, not worst]. Some men [and women] would cheat and fiddle about just because their spouses suffer internal diseases that weaken their strengths [e.g. high blood pressure and diabetic, etc]; talk less of loosing a leg or both limbs or both eyes in accidents or at wars. Thank God for the lives of men and women in uniform and their families who accept them even when they return home disabled. We have heard comments like: “The man has lost fire” or “He cannot perform again.” “She is just a robot on bed or she has lost her spice” What a perilous generation!!!
When did “performance” become determinant evaluation for relationship success? We need men and women who love when libido is diminishing; when physical appearances wear out; when disability occurs and even when nobody else cares. In these two stories we see the Four [4] critical elements of relationship coming into play: i] Acceptance [ii] Commitment [iii] Mutual respect and [iv] Communications. There are some things we still need to know about each other at each emerging stages of our relationships. She may not know you but you know her and God knows you both as one.
As we celebrate another Father’s Day on June 19, 2011, the institution of Fatherhood faces serious challenges: the challenge of trust and loyalty, when many fathers have failed themselves and faith; family, communities and societies. Some in rage of frustration have done silly things that have kept them incarcerated; away from their families. Others have towed the path of alternative lifestyle that unfortunately is receiving the society’s sympathy and approval. On the other hand, the institution of marriage that God created and placed man at the head has been under serious heat caused by those determined to dishonor, attack and castigate, disdain, devalue and destroy her. They include spouses who disrespect their heads, children who dishonor their fathers and the homosexuals who disregard the traditional family structure created and instituted by God and have devised alternative lifestyle with its associated ills to the society that is gradually giving it unholy welcome.
In a society we live in, some men want to become women while some women aspire to be more men; control and boss the family especially if they bake more bacon. Even though some may live in denial, the absent of dad’s in the family is causing the society unexplainable cost: morally and financially. It’s a high time we revert to honoring our fathers; so that it shall be well with us, we live long and more so our children shall in return honor us. Honoring fathers make them go extra mile to provide for the family; giving them right sense of direction and belonging. To know that they are accepted and regarded as dads in their families is a great virtue and encourage them to show more love and kindness. Those who are fathers must show love and responsible leadership to their families and communities. The wives who are the necks should uphold the head instead of attempting to pull and tear them down. The crux of the matter is that no amount of successes outside can compensate failures at home. I cease the opportunity of this Father’s Day to congratulate all fathers for giving us the life [DNA] we live and raising us with tough love. You will live to receive your reward. Happy Father’s Day.
Reach: Evangelist Ogbonnaya, Godswill @ weefreeministries.org or P. O. Box 720035, Houston, Texas, 77272.