I HAVE A DAD
A story goes like this: A woman had an irreconcilable problem with her husband and she moved out and took with her their little son. They returned to the woman’s family. The boy joined the mom to call his grand father, Papa. One day, when the child was about ten years, he had a misunderstanding with another boy and they fought. The other child called him a fatherless child (bastard) who takes his grand father as his father. The boy cried and was compelled to ask the mother to show him who his father was. Initially, the mother resisted the urge and maintained that his grand father was his father. After unyielding pressure from the boy, persuasion from school teachers and well meaning elders of the community the mom had no choice than to show the boy to his father. She said to the boy, you have a dad and later took him to his dad.
The boy was excited to meet his dad. The moment he saw his father, he ran and hug him. He looked up to see the father’s face while the father did same and they wept for joy. When he returned with her mom, the young man was quick to run to his play mate with a new message, “I have a dad and I know who my dad is.” “….A child’s glory is his father” (Pro. 17:6b). In John 14:8, Philip said to Jesus, “Lord show us the Father and that is all we ask (sufficient to us).” We have seen you; we want to see the Father. You talk about Him but we want to see and feel Him. We human beings believe what we see (sight) but faith believes what is not seen. This phase and story attract our concern for consideration this Father’s Day.
We are in a time in history where the institution of fatherhood has been severely challenged, persecuted and belittled as well as damaged. The role of a father is often relegated to a secondary status as compared to a mother. The reason is not far fetched. The societies we live in have little regards for manhood and have trashed fatherhood and headship to the pit. Instead we exalt equality and abhor submission; rebel against God’s assigned authority in marriage. We must understand that God had given every husband a clear responsibility for Spiritual leadership (both at home and in Church) and men do not abdicate that duty. The husband not the wife is to be the head of the family. It does not depend on who makes higher income or has a better paid job. Even within Trinity, they profess to be equal but God the Father is the head over Jesus. They are fully God and perfectly equal in essence. Jesus always identified God, the Father as His Dad.
While mothers are the hero’s of child rearing, fathers are great in development and emotional well being of the child. Another gem put it this way, “Mothers normally give care and comfort while fathers focus on teaching children about the world around them.” This division has been broken such that fathers now involve in child rearing. Most fathers now change dippers, bath and feed the baby as well as help to put them to sleep. Above all, it is significant to know that every child has a man who planted the seed that geminated into a plant – whether it is legal or illegal, present or absent. Thanks to DNA. There is something in every child that only the Father gives. That’s why a child can say my father lives in me (John 14:11); If you know me, you’ve known my father (Vs. 7). Mom is a seed carrier while Dad is a seed planter. This God given ability is often played down or considered animalistic and put on a cheap light. Lord Chesterfield charged, “Don’t make a baby if you can’t be a father.”
Whether your father is alive or dead, known or unknown, present or away from home (through separation, divorce, at war defending our freedom or incarcerated), responsible or irresponsible; everyone has a father….earthly and heavenly father. You can not be a father without having a father. You can be a father to your children but you are a child to your father and we are all children to our heavenly father. Without my father I wouldn’t have the life I live today. My father’s DNA is in me. It’s because of his DNA that I look like him and in some aspect I somehow behave like him. Certain lapses I abhor in him I see myself doing or longing for them. Little wonder, Jesus said, “I am in the Father and the father is in me” (Vs.10). My father lives in me. My father is a life giver (seed planter) while my mother is a life bearer (seed carrier). My mom used to tell me, “If God did not want me to be your mom; I wouldn’t have conceived and given birth to you.” In the same vein, if God did not want him to be your dad, he wouldn’t have begotten you. In all, it means you’re not an accident to your parents or nature but a divine blessing and child of destiny. You better stop imagining, I would have been better of, if I was born to another parents. Red Buttons said, “I don’t care how poor a man is, if he has family, he’s rich.”
Every father is a child (of man and of God). You’re always a child no matter how old. You are a product of human reproductive process. The life you live is given to you by your earthly father while your heavenly father designed and created the process and the miracle of conception. We are products of earthly parents (moms and dads) and we also have a heavenly Father to whom we are responsible to. Every good and perfect gift comes from God ……(James1:17). Fathers are stewards (middle Managers); we must honor our fathers and receive instructions from above and pass them unadulterated to those God has put in our care (1 Corinthians 4:2).
An earthly father obtains his fatherhood portrait from our Heavenly Father. The authority of fatherhood or headship also comes from God and His word. The bible is quite clear in assigning headship in every family to the Dad, not the Mom. There should be no struggles or competition; men should not abdicate or derelict that duty for they’re accountable to God not man. It is your responsibility to submit to the authority of your father – human and heavenly because you are a child. That is what your children watch, learn and adapt to as well as emulate. Do not ask your children to do what you do not do for your Father (earthly and heavenly). B. Hubbard says, “My father didn’t tell me how to live, he lived and let me watch him do it.” Also the children want to see their dad as the overseer/Spiritual head of the family, role model and their great friend. When anybody puts dad down before them that causes great conflict.
The Father’s Day messages of Joseph and Phillip open our eyes to things we often take for granted and ignore. A Must Read:
First: My father taught me to pray Our Father, who art in heaven. He told me that God is our heavenly Father. In my mind, he muses me. God is like my father? I’m not sure my father really cares about me. He is always out to play golf; when he at home, he watches sports on television and read newspapers. He does not talk or play with me. The only time he tries to talk is when he sends me on errand or finds fault with what I do. It is like he derives joy in spanking me; doesn’t know it hurts and is painful? Sometime I greet him after meal and he does not respond. I take his shoes off his legs and put them in the closet, he does not say thank you. Beside he is not nice to mom. He talks always in harsh tone and smiles when his friends come by. I do not think he is fair to us. I like uncle Moses. He buys us things, takes us to the park and play with us. I like his God. Happy Father’s Day, uncle Moses. Joseph.
Second: My Dad is a High Court judge. One evening he was returning from work with his Police Escort and his truck drove into his drive way. I’m his little lad and was eating dinner when I heard the sound of my father’s truck I ran out with dirty bib to welcome him. The Law Escort saw me running out and tried to stop me because I wore a dirty bib strained with food particles. “My Dad called the law escort to order saying to him, “In the court, I’m a judge but at home, I’m a husband and a father.” He bent down and carried me, hugged me and kissed me. He said to me you are a wonderful son, I love you. My father is a good father and loves me. I wish you Happy Father’s Day. Phillip.
Fathers are under authority to their fathers (earthly and heavenly). It’s on this line of delegated authority and responsibility that you train (instruct) and admonish your children (Ephesians 6:2-4; Proverbs 22:6; 22:15; 23:13-14; 19:18; 20:20); do not provoke your children to wrath or ridicule them. Fathers need God’s wisdom to enable them perform the function of fathering. Dads have a responsibility: to hug them, thank them, tell them you love them; and say something nice to them. We must cherish them, buy them their needs not wants, care and love their mom and take interest in what they do and pray with them as well as raise them with tough love.