HEALTHY DOUBTS
Doubt is literally described as unbelief, uncertainty, unreliability and skepticism while honesty reveals the truth, sincerity, frankness, authenticity and reality of an incident or event. Some people attribute doubts to weakness and others see them as positive signs of inward strength. It’s considered weakness when it leads to double-mindedness and feebleness of thoughts; when it lacks balance or is one sided. It has neither moral justification nor increase trust on God. It could be based on feelings, sights and physical dispositions as well as gain or/and ego. On other hand doubt could be strength or healthy when it challenges our preconceptions, provoke thoughts towards deeper knowledge of God, his son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Healthy doubts promote ultimate search for the truth not based on rationalization but on reality. It brings to light the fidelity and efficacy of the gospel. Doubt should be pondered on concrete foundation of the word of God that has eternal value. Healthy doubt has the power to conscripts our minds into heavenly hemisphere and exposes us to things beyond the ordinary.
It’s easy to hear one call another a doubting Thomas as if Thomas was the only one who reasonably doubted the resurrection of Christ. All the disciples of Jesus did and all who have become Christians today intrusively questioned the reality of the death and resurrection of Christ. But Thomas was simply bold enough to express it openly. Thomas was not present during Jesus first post resurrection appearance to his disciples. He stepped out while others were in waiting in a closed door of the room. He was impatient and perhaps frustrated waiting on hope that was taking too long to manifest. Jesus pieced through closed walls and met his disciples while they gathered in fear of their lives and future. The master came, blessed his disciples and went away while Thomas was gone. Thomas returned to the fold; missed not only to meet the resurrected Jesus but also his blessings, the benediction and the empowerment. He was told Jesus appeared to his disciples while he stepped out. Was that another April fool? I don’t think so. He responded, “Except I see in his hand, the print of the nails and put my finger into the print of the nail and thrust my hand in his side, I will not believe” [John 20:25]. That didn’t sound like someone who was confused and didn’t know what he was talking about!
Like biblical Thomas we lived in denial, the ‘seeing is believing’ lifestyle. What we see facilitate our curiosity and comfort our doubts. We live by feeling and in sight. We have all denied the Risen Christ. We deny Christ each time we disobey his commandment, put faith in other gods; when we live in unbelief and our action go contrary to what Christ would do and of course in our silences. Thomas did not want to remain an unbelieving believer, so he boldly spoke up. Some people in Church are neither sure of their salvation nor trust in the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit but are afraid to speak up.
Similarly, the Pharisee and teachers of the law knew that a Messiah shall be born in Nazareth but lived in denial because nothing good ever came from Nazareth. They doubted that Jesus was the Son of God but accepted he was the son of a carpenter. They doubted that the scripture was the word of God but a Hebrew literature. Even up till today there’s continuous decline in biblical beliefs, the virgin birth, death and resurrection of Christ as well as his second coming. We believe what we see, hear, touch, I mean what is physical. But the scripture teaches that what is physical is temporary.
Healthy doubt must be honest and truthful. Thomas was not satisfied with hear say. He desired his own experience of reality. He was in need of personal encounter not head knowledge. Thomas saw Jesus crucified on the cross; knew he was buried and he shall rise after three days. He then reasoned if he rose a full man, he must bear marks of the nails on his hands and spear on his sides. At least there were things he held on to.
Honest doubts could lead to a greater knowledge and richer relationship with Christ. If you have been a regular Church member living on religion or you have been associated with other forms of religion. You come to a point where you really desire an experience with the risen Christ and you enquire: if you Lord Jesus is real, kindly reveal yourself to me and come into my life. I want to experience your peace. It may not be on the day you said your first prayer but be assured if you are sincere and steadfast, you will experience the truth and reality of the risen Christ. When Jesus appeared the second time to his disciples and Thomas was present, He challenged Thomas preconception and unbelief. Thomas experienced the risen Savior and was first to call him the Lord and God. Even though Thomas was Jesus disciple, he still had some doubts of some kind, was still gabbling with some stuffs in his life that needed clearance and touch of God. Thomas started with honest doubt and ended up dying for Christ. As Christians we should not be afraid or ashamed to open up in areas of doubts or weakness we are going through. Christ came for those who are lost, who have issues, who have history behind them so as to fix them. Paul testified that Christ power work best in our weaknesses and his grace is sufficient for us.
When Thomas experienced the Risen Christ, he gained a new level of trust. Despite the shattering experience of Jesus death, his resurrection brought new level of trust to his disciples who had abandoned their families and trades and followed Jesus for past three years. He knew they needed something to hold on to in the midst of life’s tragedy and unexpected turns. Thomas did not deny his doubt of the risen Christ but acknowledged it. Those times of doubts became faculties of deeper learning because there constantly drive us to God. We come to times in our lives we ponder and ask individually: Do you still exist and why these things happen to me? Why my prayers are un-answered? Why have I remained stagnant [on this mountain] for so long? God, why is my healing taking longer than expected? Do not be afraid to ask your Father, your Savior, Advocate what you have done wrong. Ask him what you should do, where you should go, etc. Be patient and bear in mind those times of honest doubts and passing through are classrooms of learning of God’s ways. Wait for God’s response; do not quit or close the door of your heart before he answers. Trust in his judgment, timing and the sufficiency of his grace.
Evangelist Ogbonnaya Godswill can be reached by email:gkapin53@yahoo.com