ACCEPTING ONE ANOTHER
Many Christian brothers and sisters go to Church Sunday after Sunday and participate in Fellowship meetings, Bible studies and share in the Holy Communion. Surprisingly, within these closed walls some bear grudges, gossip after and disassociate with one another; some even hate one another. It could be by reason of color, class, race and even minor disagreement or misunderstanding. None of these or any other reason could justify such strained behaviors. These wars and squabbles are even worst in some Churches than others, where adult members of the Church are always at each others throats for nothing. These horrible behaviors could be emulated by young ones; some among them could wonder with dissatisfaction, if this is what a Church is all about, I don’t want to belong. In some instances, the fracases in the Church have been taken to worldly court houses for legal interventions and settlements. The Church is not the only place where these anomalies occur.
Many town unions have similar problems. Within the union they have different groups occasioned by diverse tribe, interest and bias. Some attend this month’s meeting carrying the bias arising from last month’s discussions. Some leave the issues and attack persons. Others had held meetings behind the meeting and introduced irrelevant intrigues and sentiments; bringing viewpoints that could divide rather than unite the people. People’s minds are poisoned against the truth while subjective opinions are introduced to blind little minds. Little wonder, discussions that may have started well end up in finger pointing, name-calling, fighting and uproar. A couple of years back, on our way back from a family meeting, my daughter asked me, “Dad, why do you, brothers quarrel in a family meeting?” I paused a little bit; had no reasonable answer for a young mind. I simply answered, “I’m sorry, this is what it always turned out to be. When people disagree over issues and do not show civility.” She said, there is no need our joining you to family meetings if all we see is infighting and quarrels. I was short of better excuse to justify our un-brotherly and uncivil actions. These behaviors are common occurrence at most Town or Cultural unions, even when we have our young ones in attendance.
Literally, to accept is to give admittance or approval or to endure without protest or reaction. It could also mean to assume an obligation or agree to undertake or to tolerate or accommodate; believe in a person or thing. Acceptance is the first rule in relationship and often the first to be neglected and flawed. When this happens it brings bickering, arguments, mishaps and hatred; whether in marriage or in friendship or even among work colleagues as well as in a Church setting. Un-acceptance dishonors God and is a disobedience to God’s instruction, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you in order to bring praise to God” [Romans 15:7]. In any gathering of imperfect people, they disagree over a lot of issues; they get upset if their views do not catch much attention, especially when they felt ignored or taken for granted. Even in family setting, how you react to your spouse’s silences or opinion on a particular matter could set the fire. Most matters of concern include: money, work, education, religion extended family and children upbringing, etc.
In a Church, religious convictions, doctrinal issues, family related matters, stewardship especially on money matters and leadership styles could upset some members. I heard a male member was upset with a preacher because he preached against some aspect of cultural values. I’m also aware that a family problem ran deeper because the Church leadership favored the female high flyer member of the family. Again, a committed family resigned membership of a megaChurch over the ordination of women pastors. Another minister/pastor quit a Church because she [the Church] welcomed homosexuals in worship service and so on. All these simply show the imperfection in human beings and our differences in opinions and reactions on pertinent matters. Some have disagreed over the use of alcoholic wines or fruit juice for Holy Communion.
Some vehemently disagree on whether to adopt Sabbath [7th day] or Sunday, the 1st day of the week as a worship day of rest. Surprisingly others fight over when to have Holy Communion – Sunday morning or Thursday evening since it is called the Lord’s Super. Some have disagreed whether to sing hymns or songs of praise; use of instruments for total worship or just organ or piano to lead hymns. Some believe that dancing is evil and tongue speaking had ceased. These broods have been carried into name calling and black mail: those who speak in plain tongues have nick-named those who speak in strange tongue, noisy Church while those who speak in strange tongues in public worship call those who do not, dead church, etc. This list is endless but may God in His mercies help us.
When we look deep into the underlying causes of these disputes and conflicts, they rest on non-acceptance. We have not come to the truth that we are different in thoughts, personalities, in beliefs pattern and in doctrinal opinions, etc. Little wonder Reverend David Feddes of Christian Reformed Church said, “Infact, if nobody in the Church ever gets upset about anything, it’s probably a sign that something is wrong.” He added, “The only thing worse than a Church that fights over everything is a Church that won’t fight for anything.” In some organizations, leaders want everybody to agree to everything they say without adverse opinions; any attempt to reason differently or suggest otherwise would cause them to despise, nickname or sidetrack you. They try to put everybody in the same mold. Any opinions that differ from theirs, no matter how reasonable or objective, is considered an opposition or a descending voice and must be shut down. Fortunately, God created us with a freewill and right of choices. Yet Christians disagree and sometimes get very disagreeable over a whole host of trivial issues and appear to keep sealed lips on important matters of our faith. They disagree over speaking in tongues in corporate worship and compromise with those who deny that Jesus is the son of God and the Christ, Messiah. The latter is the crux of our faith.
No human being no matter how exposed can offer answers to all our disagreements and differences but the Bible tries to offer guideline to dealing with disputes and disagreements. The Holy Spirit speaking through Apostle Paul admonishes us to, “Accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” [Romans 15:7]. Apostle Paul didn’t say accept one another because he is perfect or has strength of character or hail from the same tribe or because we consider him meaningful to our society, etc. Instead Apostle Paul said accept one another as Christ accept you. That means this admonition applies to every person: low and high, poor and rich, literates and illiterates, even our worst enemies are loved by Christ and He died for everyone. This instruction is simple and explicit but sadly it’s difficult for human beings to adhere to.
This quickly reminds me that Apostle Paul did not say we should accept one another when they express favorable opinions, support our viewpoint or remain silence; agree with every opinion and do not argue or disagree. Come to think of it, holding a different viewpoint on a lot of issues is one thing but allowing what should unite us to divide us is very saddening. Our diversity and differences shall never end because we see and know in parts [1 Corinthians 13:12]; hold to what we think is correct and has been our practice over time. We are too swift to close our minds to new ideas especially if the ideas come from those we consider opposition. A wise little mind in our community opines, “Those who came to the Church in the morning hold bias opinion against those who came to worship in the evening.” Their opinions are seen as threats and not following the status quo; even though over years, they do the same thing and get the same willful results. They need those who came to the Church in the evening for their dues and levies but not their inputs. It does not make sense, except living in cheerful deceit, shameful pride and arrogance.
Brethren, we must learn to accept one another for this gives God praise and honor; to us, joy and harmony. We must also celebrate our diversity and accept our differences. This is in realization that we are different and God made us that way to achieve His (Creator’s) purpose and meet His designed goals. Remember that Jesus’ commands to love our neighbor (one another) include those we may not like, may not share our opinions or support our view points; yet they are God’s creation and part of our community. By so doing we open rooms for synergies of ideas and be man enough to accept bitter truths that will help us to make collective success. Also we shall enjoy an atmosphere of peace; less frictions and squabbles as well as hold unto the truth, even when it hurts. Apostle Paul prescribes that believers should increase more and more in brotherly love (1 Thessalonians 4:10). He also prayed, “May the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you” (1 Thess. 3:12).
This reflection challenges us to make an inward examination of ourselves and be prepared to make changes that will not only help us as individual but our families, Churches and society. Accepting one another is a way forward; we must wholeheartedly imbibe and practice it.
Reach: Evangelist Ogbonnaya, Godswill @weefreeministries.org or P. O. Box 720035, Houston, Texas, 77272. [Cell: 832-881-3929].