“WHY” CONVERSATION!
Susan walked into the room and observes her little son doing his home work while watching some TV programs. Susan said to her five year old, you have to turn the television off to enable you focus on your school work. The boy responded, mom why? Mom replied, sweetie, it’s to avoid distractions and keep focus on your school assignment. The lad dissatisfied with mom’s instruction and perhaps reasoning asked, Mom why? He added the TV does not disturb me from doing my home work. The Mom said I know it could distract you and your attention will be divided. You could make some silly mistakes. The boy sounded rebelling and screamed, but mom why? The mom explained, I am a teacher and I was once a pupil; I know that watching your best TV programs and doing your school assignment at the same time does not fit or go well. She became more assertive and said, now turn the TV off. The boy could have been dragging the why conversation in a wrong direction while the mom was slowly loosing her cool. The boy raised his voice and screamed, Oh no, mom why? The mom already frustrated and her mood changing because the conversation was dragging into delayed obedience or better put disobedience. The mom then responded, because I said so. The little boy said mom that’s rude. The mom became hashed and said, do what I just told you naughty boy or you go on time out. That language the boy understood asserted mom’s authority.
I believe that no mom would deliberately want to be harsh to her baby. The mom-child simple conversation that started in a soft rapport tone was stretched into an ugly level because of the boy’s delayed obedience. It’s the desire of parents to have meaningful, family upbringing and child guidance discussion with their children. Unfortunately most children in our contemporary society are raised to believe they have rights and listen to nobody. They also believe that they should be allowed to make their own decision and face the consequences; thereby learn from the situation and circumstances their decisions might cause them. The bad news is that one incident/ mistake may end them in a bad state. Similar sentiments and fears have been expressed by Jeremy Pearsons in his book: “Hello, my name is God and by Beth Moore in her book: Jesus the one and only.” A Popular Psychologist named Feud simply stated reinforcement in a child. He defined reinforcement into two categories: i) Positive reinforcement which he defined as rewarding a child when he he/she does something good, for future encouragement while ii) Negative reinforcement is punishing a child for wrong doings, e.g: go on a time out, abstaining from watching television and etc.
Parents take great patience to communicate with their young children to ensure they understand and obey willingly. However, children engage in “why” conversation and most times end up provoking their parents to become hard and harsh. Some parents confuse almost all failure to understand with disobedience but they are sometimes wrong. These parents simply cannot believe that their very clear instructions could have been misconstrued by their children; end up accusing them of snotty attitude. Sometimes “because I said so” is the phrase that will turn right the why conversation. It stresses the fact that I am your mom and I can guide you; stop talking back at me. That’s not right. Just listen and obey. Obedience is a sign of trust and portrays that mom or dad shall not mislead the child and even when you may not fully understand what parent means, you trust their judgment.
In our era and society, this type of trust and firm understanding is not common. The authority of parents has been clipped and reduced by government in the US . Well, government is not entirely to be blamed because we have seen and heard about parents who abuse and assault their children. Some have abandoned their new born and others murdered their children; among them are those under the influence of substance or psychotic disposition. Could it be that our young children emulate us, the adult? We disobey the laws of God and of government. Many church going Christians shelve God’s instructions. We often ask how God can say that; because it is not favorable to us, we doubt God’s command. “Each and every one of us is guilty of not adhering strictly to the words of the Lord. Every one of us has delayed obedience. Sometimes it’s because we don’t know Him well enough to recognize His voice; other times, it’s because we’re stubborn or lazy. But whatever the cause, it’s still sin, plain and simple.”
Some people opine that laws are made to be disobeyed and maneuvered. They do everything to misrepresent and misconstrue the laws of the state and God’s respectively. They question the validity of God’s commands and try to rationalize them; some accept them in their own terms. Every one who has had an encounter with God experienced His supreme authority and power. Understanding God’s authority produces trust in Him that allows Him to move on our behalf.
This brings to mind our popular Shepherd’s Psalm 23. It says, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want (vs.1). It means the Lord is the shepherd of His people. King David paints a picture based on his life and experience as a shepherd boy. Many Christians reside this psalm and put themselves in the position of the sheep but do not behave like one. The sheep trust the shepherd and follow him wherever he takes them without the why question. They depend on his leadership and judgment on their behalf. They neither grumble nor complain nor rebel against the shepherd. Unfortunately, man behaves opposite of the sheep. They engage in the why conversation and even when God gives commands, man still ask ‘why’. God sees a bigger picture of our lives and does things to meet our ultimate goal that are beyond our understanding, yet we ask God ‘why’. If God tells us all what He does, would man understand? We may not have a choice in His decisions, but we have to obey Him, even when we do not know the outcome.
Indeed, obedience is doing what God asks of us quickly and without the why question as though we were the 5 year old lad. Being slow to obey could be in every bit as bad as not obeying at all. Apostle Paul wrote to the Romans, “All have sinned against God and fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23). Just as we frown and distaste little children for delaying to obey us or do not obey, so we think God feels about us when we behave in the similar manner or way. Jesus came into the world to give us life and abundant life (John 10:10). To enjoy life in Christ, we must obey Him. Jesus says to love Him is to obey Him (John 14:23). Obedience is evidence of our love to God. Just as obedient child enjoys his dad/mom’s goodness, so is obedient child of God enjoying many benefits from God. Therefore drop the why this, why that conversation; uphold deliberate obedience, not delay or slow obedience or disobedience.
Reach: Evangelist Ogbonnaya, Godswill @weefreeministries.org or P.O. Box 720035, Houston, 77272. Cell: 832-881-3929.